After giving up on dating, one woman is considering having a child on her own.

On this weeks So You Think You’re an Adult segment, a letter writer questioned whether choosing to have a baby by herself would be fair to the child and her family.

“As I'm sure you've heard from other listeners, modern dating can be difficult,” she told Moncrieff.

“After a lot of disappointment and frustration, I've stopped looking for a partner.

“I've made peace with being on my own romantically, but for as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother, and that dream is something I'm finding it difficult to let go of.

“I'm really considering having a child alone, but I'm unsure if this is the right decision.

“I work full time, and while I've very supportive parents and siblings who have insisted they will help me with childcare, I'm just not sure if this is fair and everyone involved.

“Is it selfish on me to bring a child into this world when I'll have to work full time and already know I will be relying on others to help me?

“Will I be enough for my child as a sole parent figure? I know many parents do it alone, but often not by choice.

“I often wonder, am I selfish?”

Challenging but rewarding

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said that people should ‘never underestimate’ their own desire to be a parent.

“First of all, I want to say, as someone who was a single parent for 10 years – yes, you will be enough for your child,” she said.

“It is possible to parent alone.

“It's probably more challenging and it can be quite lonely, but it is absolutely possible and ultimately it is very rewarding.”

A group of children from a nursery school in high visibility jackets walking with teachers or childcare workers through a park in winter. Image: Gary Hider / Alamy

Barbara said that many families now see both parents working full-time, and that needing help with childcare is not something unique to single parents.

More important to Barbara is that the is that the child understands their origins.

“I think the other thing that you have to think about is what you’re going to tell the child, because the child will start asking questions reasonably young if they’re different from most of the kids in their class,” she said.

“So, if you’re happy to be able to explain it to a child in a form that they can understand and be truthful, I don’t think you’re selfish."

The 'perfect family' myth

TV personality Declan Buckley said that ‘the perfect family doesn’t exist’.

“I think a lot of people put pressure on themselves to strive to be this perfection thing that doesn't really happen,” he said.

“As long as the child is loved and cared for and given food and opportunities, I believe that kid is in a good place.”

Declan said that people have children in a wide variety of circumstances, and that as long as this letter writer loves and cares for her child to the best of her ability, she is not being selfish.

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