On this week’s Parenting segment, one parent is unhappy because their husband refuses to let their children watch TV during the week and only for short periods on the weekend. 

The question:

“My twins are nearly 12 and my husband refuses to let them watch TV during the week at all. 

“It is only allowed on weekend mornings and at that, only until he gets out of bed. 

“As a result my kids will be up at 6am on the weekend to get to see some tv before Dad gets up. 

“It's causing huge arguments between myself and my husband as I disagree with this. 

“I never signed up for this and feel it is incredibly unfair. 

“When they were smaller we limited their TV quite a bit and it was very controlled - and I was ok with that but now that they are almost 12, I feel they are old enough to make decisions for themselves. 

“They have phones for music and a kids chat app which is very tightly controlled. 

“I honestly don't think there is any harm in a little TV after school. 

“In fact, I think it’s nice; he thinks that bored kids are creative kids but I can tell you, that bored kids are unhappy kids, and I feel they are spending their childhood in a very dreary way, just passing the time and waiting to go to bed - my kids aren't readers either. 

“Now that after school activities are finished for summer it's going to get worse. We live in the country, so we don't have many friends nearby that they can go and play with. 

“My happiest memories are coming home from school and watching TV shows as a child, and even now when I see old theme tunes from old shows like Huckleberry Finn and The Brady Bunch and they bring back such lovely memories. 

“Is TV rotting their brains and lack of TV making them creative and clever? Because from where I'm sitting I don't agree.”

Watching Netflix on a smart television in November 2019. Picture by: True Images / Alamy Stock Photo

Joanna Fortune, a child and adult psychotherapist, said it felt less like a question about parenting and more like a “discussion between two adults” about their expectations of parenting. 

“What jumps out at me here, first and foremost, is that this is a really good example of not parenting on the same page,” she said. 

“You’re never going to be on the same page all the time but we do need to sit down and say, ‘Well, what are your parental essentials - those red lines, non-negotiable issues - versus what is a parental preference?’

“This seems like a parental essential clashing with someone’s parental preference.” 

A TV remote control and screen are seen in September 2019. Picture by: Alamy

Joanna said whatever they decide, it is important that children have stimulation in their daily lives. 

“There’s no reference here to activities you do here as a family, to adventures, outings, plays, family play,” she said. 

“There’s no feel of it here in this letter and if you say to your kids, ‘We’re not watching TV’ - what are you finishing that sentence with? ‘Because we’re going to the woods, or this beach, we’re going to climb a mountain, we’re going to do something.’

“What is the rest of that sentence? And if you’re sitting there going, ‘Nothing, they sit there because I want them to be bored’ - I think you are overestimating what boredom is going to produce at that level. 

“Limiting screen time is sensible but be very clear about how their time is to be used as much as how it is not to be used. 

“This feels quite one sided.”

Main image: Children watching TV. Picture by: Alamy.com.