My niece is nearly 13 and acts very suggestively at times. She is can be outrageously flirty and at times I hope she just doesn't know what she is saying.  At a recent family gathering she kept sitting on my husband’s knee and snuggling into him which made him very uncomfortable. He ended up leaving the room and I heard later that she was told to cop herself on by her older cousins and stopped.  Unfortunately this isn’t the first time it’s happened and I’d be worried about it landing herself in a harmful situation.  I would like to talk to her mother (my sister) but we don’t have the best relationship and I think she could end up yelling at me or her daughter. How should I approach this or is it my place?

I would be concerned about this sort of behaviour. There are a wide variety of factors that could contribute to this and among them are intellectual disability, impairment of social judgement and possible sexual abuse or exploitation. It is impossible to know even where to begin. Does your niece have any intellectual disability? If so she will need to be taught how to behave appropriately. Is she excessively insecure? If that is the case she need comforting and attention for appropriate behaviour. Are there any concerns she has been exposed to sexually explicit material? Some children who have viewed pornography at a young age or who have witnessed sexual activity among other children become eroticised and then act out the same behaviours.

If you have a question for Moncrieff's Parenting Expert, David Carey, email it to afternoon@newstalk.ie and tune in every Wednesday at 3pm.

David J. Carey is a psychologist in practice in Stillorgan, Dublin. He is the author of the book, The Essential Guide to Special Education in Ireland.