Lawyer-turned-professional-legal pest Chris Sevier has asked the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to let him marry his porn-filled Apple Mac computer.
Confused? Just to clarify, this is not a case of mistaken love but a protest against gay marriage rights recently instated in Utah.
On Friday, Sevier, submitted a 50-page motion with the court to intervene in the ongoing federal appeal over Utah’s same-sex marriage ban—suggesting that the love he has for his laptop is no different than the bond between gay couples.
“[They] discriminated against me when they reject [sic] my request to marry my computer,” Sevier writes in the motion. “I approached the Utah clerk to have a marriage license issued for me and my machine-spouse. The clerk denied my request for a marriage license in the same manner and for the exact same reasons—my object of affection was outside the scope of the narrow definition.”
Either way, the court threw out the first motion. Below is a quote from the judge.
“Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer,” wrote Judge Robert Hinkle in his ruling. “Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit.”
