This week on ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one man asked how he can make new friends in his late 20s after most people he knows have emigrated.
“I’m 28, I’ve just moved home from Australia after two years,” he told Moncrieff.
“I absolutely loved my life in Sydney, was gutted to leave, but couldn’t stay any longer with my visa.
“I came home a few months ago and at first I was happy enough to be home.
“It dawned on me over the last couple of weekends that most of the lads I would have been friends with have left.
“I was lucky to get a good job here after coming back and my dad isn’t well so I don’t want to move again so soon, but I’m pretty bored if I’m honest.
“I work from home most days, I go to the gym, and I can’t afford to move out as I blew through my savings in Sydney.
“I feel there’s loads of stuff set up for girls to meet, but where does a 28-year-old guy go to find a group of mates?”
Lonely young man shot from behind at subway station with blurry moving train and walking people in background. Image: Panther Media GmbH / Alamy. 31 December 2015Broadcaster Barbara Scully said this letter “shines a light” on the struggles of the thousands of young people who feel they are forced to emigrate.
“My second daughter went to Australia in October and is now settled for the moment in Melbourne,” she said.
“I’m gobsmacked by the number of people she knows out there who were in school with her, were in local schools, and they’re all meeting up.
“He’s right, they are all in Australia or Canada or wherever it is they’re going and we should hang our heads in shame about that because it is awful.”
However, Barbara said that many of his friends will likely find themselves in similar situations soon, and he may see some of them return over the next few years.
Find what you're interested in
In the meantime though, TV personality Declan Buckley said he needs to put the work into finding something he is interested in.
“There was no substance in this letter which said, ‘I would like to do X, Y and Z’,” he said.
“All there seems to be is that women seem to be out there finding loads of things to do and he can’t.
“So, I’m not saying that there’s not a problem, what I’m saying is that there must be something that he’s actually interested in that you can substitute the interest for the relationship.
“You know what I mean? Finding friends around a similar interest is where you have to go.”
Male Friends Enjoying Meal Outdoors At Home. Image: MBI / Alamy. 4 April 2014Texters suggested running or hiking clubs, while Barbara said that volunteering could also be an option.
“It mightn’t be working in a charity shop but it might be an animal sanctuary or something like that where you will meet like-minded other people,” she said.
“Or get a dog; I’ve said this before, dogs are a great way of meeting people – everybody talks to you when you have a dog.”
Both Barbara and Declan also recommended that he head into the office rather than work from home.
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Main image: Man sitting on bench overlooking sea. Image: Marc Bruxelle RF / Alamy. 28 September 2016
