People are often happy to take more than they’re willing to give – but you don’t usually expect the person you're dating to become overly reliant on your household appliances.

This week on ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one woman asked what to do with her boyfriend, who has been using her shower in lieu of his.

“I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for six months and generally he stays at mine because the room I’m renting is nicer,” she told Moncrieff.

“The problem is, the place he’s renting is actually horrible, and they’ve no working shower.

“When I first met him, he said this is being repaired – months later, nothing has changed, so what ends up happening now is he just showers at mine.

“I have to work late, and he comes straight over the second I get in the door expecting a hot meal and a shower.

“It’s really annoying me, and my housemates are not impressed either.

“We’re generally pretty happy otherwise, and I do see a future with this guy – how do I put my foot down on the showering?”

Jeans of someone taken off before taking a bath or shower. Image: KINOVO / Alamy. 22 June 2023

Actress Mary McEvoy said that this letter writer seemed to be caught between liking her boyfriend and knowing that he is using her.

“She’s been used, not in a terribly severe way, but she’s become a convenience to him,” she said.

“So, I think she just has to say, ‘Look, it’s become not cool with me, and it’s certainly not cool with my flatmates, and I like living her, so I think you should shower here once a week and go try find a place with running water’.

“Of course, the other aspect of this is that it is terrible that people are forced to live in house with no running water, in this day and age that’s a whole other issue.

“But I think she knows – I think when we’re being used, even if it’s not a kind of a really nasty using, we always know [even if] we can’t put our finger on it.”

'Charming dosser'

TV personality Declan Buckley said that this man certainly seems to be something of a ‘charming dosser’.

“Are you allowed to be a dosser when you’re whatever age these kids are? Probably for a little bit,” he said.

“But what actually disabuses you of that lifestyle is coming up crash bang against reality.

“Sometimes that’s just seeing a mirror put up to your face and going, ‘This is what you’re living like’.”

However, Declan said this woman’s boyfriend might not be picking up on the tension, and she should speak to him about it first.

Main image: Man and woman in the bathroom after shower. Image: Zoonar GmbH / Alamy. 11 July 2023