This week on ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one woman asked if she is making too much of the fact that her husband went to a strip club on a stag-do.

“I found out my husband went to a strip club on his brother’s stag a few weekends ago and I’ve barely spoken to him since,” she told Moncrieff.

“What makes it worse is my husband was one of the stag organisers.

“We're in our 40s, we’ve young children – I just feel so betrayed.

“I can’t understand how he thinks it is an acceptable thing to do and that I would allow it.

“I understand ‘boys will be boys’, but he needs to start acting like a man in his 40s with responsibilities and be mature.

“He tried to hide it from me, which makes me question how many secrets he’s kept over the years, especially because I only found out because my sister-in-law-to-be mentioned it.

“He has made me feel like I’m overreacting, but I believe there are some lines that should never be crossed, and I feel so disrespected.

“Am I making too big a deal of it? Or am I entitled to be angry?”

Unhappy couple not talking after an argument in bed at home. Image: Prasit Rodphan / Alamy. 3 February 2018

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said the real root of the problem here seemed to be a lack of honesty in the relationship.

“He didn’t tell his wife because he knew she wouldn’t approve and she would give him grief about it, so I think that’s the issue,” she said.

“Because he did that, there’s like this breach of trust and deceit, which isn’t great in a committed long-term relationship.

“I mean, the stuff that she says about not giving him permission and about him acting his age and being responsible is just silly – he doesn’t need her permission to do anything.

“But a committed relationship works on trust and on transparency, and that’s what been breached here.”

Barbara said it will take a lot of open conversations to repair this breach of trust.

'A bit over the top'

TV personality Declan Scully said that he was having trouble understanding exactly what this letter writer’s problem is.

“I don’t think she knows why she’s angry about it,” he said.

“She believes on some level that her husband has to act in a way that’s above ‘boys being boys’ and everything else that men are allowed to do in the world that she’s perfectly complicit in – except in the instance when she feels she personally has been betrayed.”

One texter suggested that the writer was insecure that her husband had been looking at younger women.

The texter said she’d feel the same, “but the reaction is a bit over the top”.

Listen back here:

Main image: Couple arguing in living room. Image: Wavebreak Media ltd / Alamy. 23 November 2013