On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult, there’s a rupture between two siblings over affording a destination wedding. 

“My sister announced her destination wedding in an exotic but expensive location,” he told Moncrieff. 

“However, I recently bought a house and have a tight budget. 

“I explained my financial situation to her, suggesting a video call during the ceremony so I could still be part of her day. 

“She accused me of being unsupportive and selfish, saying I should have saved up for this.” 

He said his parents have sided with the sister, and he doesn’t know how to proceed. 

A family wedding

Broadcaster Declan Buckley said the brother should consider the full consequences of his decision. 

“It's totally understandable that somebody might feel they have financial limitations,” he said. 

“But when it comes to stuff in your family, making those choices can often have bigger consequences. 

“People get married once, normally - if you don't go to your sister's wedding, that's a bit of a statement.” 

He said not going to the wedding has the potential to cause “residual upset” for years to come in the family. 

'Don't put yourself in debt'

Writer Barbara Scully was a bit more sympathetic to the brother and said when you plan a destination wedding, “they can't expect everybody, even brothers and sisters, to be able to drop everything”. 

“If you could boil this down to whether this guy genuinely cannot afford to go or whether he's making the decision that he doesn't want to spend the money,” she suggested. 

“I do think if he genuinely has just bought a new house and he genuinely hasn't got the money, I don't think it’s fair if he should put himself in debt.” 

She agreed with Declan, however, that not attending the wedding will “ripple” into their relationship for the rest of their lives. 

They agreed the best course of action now is to be as transparent as possible about his financial situation to see if anything can be done to get him to the chapel.