On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult?, one listener admits that she can’t help but cheat on her boyfriend with her married coworker. 

“There is a guy that works on the same company as me and when we are out, we end up getting together,” she told Moncrieff. 

“The issue is, he has a wife and I have a boyfriend. 

“I can’t say I’ve overly strong feelings for this man, but it seems to be when we are in the same room and alcohol is involved, we are just drawn to each other.” 

She said both she and her coworker always feel guilty the next day, but she also knows she “not a victim”. 

“I think the solution is that I just cut out all social occasions in work, but I know this will ruin some of my friendships,” she said. 

'There's something about the devilment'

Broadcaster Declan Buckley said the listener is presenting herself as an “unwilling participant” of her affair. 

“You're obviously attracted to somebody,” he said. “You wouldn't be doing if you weren't. 

“There’s something about the devilment that you're kind of getting a little kick out of. 

"Then you fool yourself into thinking it’s not an ongoing thing.” 

Drinks at bar. Image: Glasshouse Images / Alamy Stock Photo

Writer Barbara Scully agreed with Declan, adding this is purely her choice to cheat on her boyfriend. 

“One of the first things you need to learn as an adult is that you're responsible for your own actions,” she said. 

“Whether she thinks they are conscious or subconscious actions, or she has been carried away on some kind of mad energy, she is making the decision to do this and she’s only the one who can stop it.” 

Assuming not going out will solve the listener’s problems is “the most ridiculous thing” Barbara has ever heard. 

“It’s a nuclear reaction,” she said. 

“All you have to do is steer clear of him - if you can't, then you've got a bigger problem.” 

Addressing the problem

Declan said people have a “great capacity” to forget about everything else when making bad decisions. 

“But it always comes down to the same point that, regardless of what your impulses and your urges are, if you care enough about the other person in your life, you have to make a decision,” he said. 

“If you're trying to find a life that works for you, then you have to find a way to be allowed the treats you're allowed to have into your life but making this nuclear option is not actually addressing the problem.”