On this week’s segment of ‘So You Think You’re an Adult?’, one listener asks what to do about her crush on her female boss.  

“I have a crush on my female boss,” she told Moncrieff. “I’m a woman and happily married for years and this has never happened before.” 

She said there have never been any major issues in her marriage or family that would cause her to leave. 

“I just don’t know what to do. It’s making me question everything about my life and family. Is it possible this will pass?” 

"Your sexuality is waving at you"

Actress Mary McEvoy if she doesn’t plan to act on her crush, there’s really nothing to worry about.  

“It’s a woman – so what?” she said. “Your sexuality is waving at you and in theory, you might have a look at that.” 

Mary said having a crush on a woman doesn’t “invalidate” her entire marriage or life.  

“Don't worry about the fact that it's a woman you have a crush on,” she said. “You wouldn't worry about it so much if it was a man.” 

“Is it just me or in this age are more psychologists saying we’re all bisexual anyway?” 

Mary said the crush might be in part because the listener admires something about the woman that she wants to emulate – but that doesn’t mean the crush isn’t as a valid as a crush on a man.  

Monogamous relationships

Broadcaster Declan Buckley said crushes are common in all relationships and the listener shouldn’t be stressed. 

“Just because she's recognising that somebody's attractive doesn't mean automatically that she's going to do something about it,” he said.  

“You can be in the most happy relationship imaginable, the most monogamous relationship possible and still have the capacity to recognize other people being attractive.” 

"Latent bisexuality"

Declan said the most important thing is that she has already chosen to remain monogamous.  

The listener realising her “latent bisexuality” might be the real source of stress, according to Declan. 

“[But] bisexual people are out there in committed, monogamous relationships,” he said. “It's a real kind of slur on bisexual people that they're kind of hopping and jumping.” 

Mary and Declan agreed that the listener should simply accept she has discovered “a new and interesting part of herself” - which doesn’t mean she needs to change her life.