On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult, one young woman is frustrated with her sober sex life with her new boyfriend.
“I’m a female in my 20s and I’ve started seeing a guy recently - I know we are young, and it’s early doors, but being in his company feels so easy and I get really excited about just spending quality time together,” she told Moncrieff.
“However, it’s not all perfect in the bedroom. When we are drunk, we have the most amazing sex, and we both seem to be getting huge satisfaction out of it.
“When we are sober the sex is so bad - I tried to bring it up with him, and he got a bit self-conscious, meaning the next time we were sober, the sex was even worse.”
She said she is beginning to “dread sober sex”.
'Get a little bit tipsy'
Broadcaster Barbara Scully said drunk sex can be “fun and interesting”.
“When you’re drunk, you obviously have no inhibitions and you're much freer not self-conscious,” she said.
“The fact that when she tried to bring it up with him and made it worse that he got more self-conscious just seems to add to the fact that when he’s not drunk, he’s nervous.”
She suggested getting “a little bit tipsy”.
“See if you can improve things by not getting absolutely drunk but have a few glasses of wine,” she said.
“You can even try, when you’re a little bit tipsy, having that discussion with him when he might be a little bit more open, and the edges are knocked off.
“His instincts are right, so it’s just trying to get him to rely on those instincts.”
Sober communication
Writer Declan Buckley if they’re able to “communicate and enjoy themselves when drunk”, the couple should be able to communicate in general.
“The reality of it is that you're communicating with somebody that you're meant to have affection for,” he said.
“When they’re drunk, they’re not thinking about it, they’re not in their heads, they’re just going with the flow.
“I think they both need to not be in their heads about it.”
Declan suggested being completely honest with each other, while remembering they still care about each other, and learning how to build a sexual relationship from there.
