On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult, one person is tight for cash – but the girl who owes her money just lost her mother.
“We went to New York for New Year’s Eve, and when we arrived at the Hotel the card machine was down, so we had to pay in cash,” she told Moncrieff.
“I told her I would run to the ATM, and she could give me the money when we got back to Ireland.
“When we got back from the trip, she received some bad news in relation to her mom’s health and has been pre-occupied by that for the last few months.
“Unfortunately, her mom passed away last week, so again, I was there for her, gave her space and never mentioned the money.
“However, I am now at the stage where I need the money back. A few post-Christmas bill have come in and I need the money for essential stuff.
“How do I approach this without coming across unsensitive?”
Using 'tact'
Broadcaster Declan Buckley said it’s probably too late to say you should never loan money out in the first place.
“But with your good friend that you've always had a history of paying each other back - that's the reality,” he said.
“Everything else in your problem is rooted in either your own financial emergency or your imagination about your other friend's stress.”
He said if she is already speaking to her friend regularly and offering support, there should be no issue to soon ask for the money back “with tact”.
Getting the money back
Writer Barbara Scully agreed, and suggested the friend could have easily forgotten about the money altogether.
“I think what's very likely as she arrived back from New Year's Eve straight into this maelstrom, I would say she's very likely just forgotten,” she said.
She pointed out the friend should have no financial issue paying back the money, but timing is still an important issue.
“Leave it another week,” she said. “If you need to borrow money off somebody in order to pay your bills, family or something, then go to her in about a week.
“Acknowledge the fact that I know you have an awful lot going on, I know this is probably completely slipped your mind, but would you be able to transfer me that money back because I need it.”
Declan and Barbara agreed money is not the issue here, simply timing.
