On this week’s ‘So You Think You’re and Adult’ segment, one letter writer asked what to do after realising his girlfriend doesn’t want to get married.

“I’m 27, I’ve been going out with a lovely girl for about four years now,” he told Moncrieff.

“She’s amazing in every way. My friends like her, my family like her, she and I get on like a house on fire.

“The problem is that recently we got into a deep conversation about life and our future together.

“She told me she doesn’t believe in marriage and doesn’t want to get married. She also told me that she’s not sure she wants to have children.

“Naturally, being a laid-back lad in my mid-twenties, these things were never to the forefront of my mind.

“However, since our conversation, it’s been playing on my mind quite a lot.

“It’s something I want; I’ve always pictured myself as a dad someday, and I’ve always been sure I want children.

“I love this girl, and I know I’d be heartbroken if I break up with her.

“I don’t know if I should stick with it in the hope she changes her mind – but what if she doesn’t? I think I will end up resenting her.

“Do I break up with the love of my life because we weren’t aligned, or should I just coast along for a few years and hope for the best?”

Close up of a bride and groom holding hands during a marriage ceremony. Picture by: Paula Solloway / Alamy Stock Photo

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said it sounded like this letter writer hadn’t expressed these desires to his girlfriend properly yet.

“[It sounds like] he hadn’t given this any thought really until she started this conversation, and then he went off and had to think and then thought, ‘Oh, actually, I think I would like to get married, and I think I would like to be a dad’ - which is fair enough,” she said.

“But now he needs to do the next step, which is continue the conversation.

“They’ve been together for four years, so you need to get back and continue the conversation by telling her what you think it is that you want.”

'Life is like a bingo card'

TV personality Declan Buckley agreed - but advised that sometimes you don’t get everything you thought you wanted out of life.

“I think often what happens is that when you present somebody with an ‘either/or’ choice, they can spend all of their time thinking about what they’re going to choose,” he said.

“But if you tell them then that one of the choices is taken off the table – even if they were leaning towards the other choice – that suddenly becomes the narrative.

“It’s about, ‘Oh, look what you took away from me, I’m going to live the rest of my life dwelling on this choice that has been taken away from me’ - when instead what he should be thinking about is what it is [he wants].

“[Life is] like a bingo card – you don’t necessarily get all of the numbers, but you can still have a lot of fun playing it.”

Above all else though, both agreed that an in-depth conversation was needed before any drastic decisions are made.

Listen back here:

Main image: Wedding Cake Figurines, Groom Grabbing Runaway Bride. Image: Design Pics / Alamy. 4 May 2009