On this week’s ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one man thinks his girlfriend makes excessive eye contact with men on the street. 

“Anytime we are out shopping or in the street or even at traffic lights, she seems to always be making eye contact and holding it with good looking men,” he told Moncrieff. 

“To me, it's insulting and a form of flirting - the best one was when she noticed this good-looking guy walking towards us, she started fixing herself and even glanced at him with the ‘come here’ face as we passed.” 

The listener said when he brings it up with his girlfriend, she “flies off the handle” and gets “uncontrollably angry, shouting and screaming until she runs out of batteries”. 

“Is it in my head?” he asked. “It's like I can't ask anything, or she flies off the handle.”

"Controlling" behaviour

Broadcaster and writer Barbara Scully said the listener is blowing the issue of out of proportion. 

“Maybe she does look – so what?” she said. “Does he never notice good-looking women? Does he avert his eyes every time a woman passes above the street, in case he might make eye contact?” 

“Does he think that his girlfriend should live in a sealed off universe that is purely just for him and she shouldn't look at anybody else ever?” 

Barbara said the girlfriend likely gets annoyed because his behaviour is “controlling”.  

“My advice is to relax – she's with you,” she said. “She's not going out with the men she sees on the street. She's merely looking.” 

Insecurities

Broadcaster Declan Buckley said the listener should take a step back and consider what is causing his insecurity. 

“Is there a pre-existing scenario where he's more disposed to having those kinds of feelings?” he said. “Does he have a history of having people cheat on him?” 

"Instagram validation"

Despite that, Declan said some people might use their attractiveness as a “power token” in relationships – and women can be very subtle about it. 

“Men will be more blatant about it, whereas women will use it as if they’re getting a vibe that they’re dressed nice or want validation,” he said. 

“It’s like Instagram validation - sometimes people do crave that kind of validation and they don't care what we're looking at.” 

You can listen to 'So You Think You're an Adult' every Wednesday on Moncrieff.