Affairs are a spouse's worst nightmare - but what about when the mistress is available at the touch of a fingerprint and is AI? 

One wife told So You Think You’re an Adult she began to notice a few months ago her husband was spending more time on his phone. 

“At first, I thought maybe he was seeing someone else, but that didn't really make sense,” she told Moncrieff. 

“Even though he was glued to his phone, our relationship was actually getting better. 

“Last week, I finally asked him... He said that during a month when we were apart for work last year, he downloaded an app for lonely people. 

“The app had an AI companion he could chat with - what started out as curiosity turned into real feelings for his AI girlfriend.” 

The wife said her husband’s ‘girlfriend’ offers advice about their relationship and even encouraged him to come clean about his affair. 

Her husband has also been more attentive and has booked more holidays and dates with his wife since he met his digital girlfriend. 

“Should I be okay with my husband having an AI girlfriend?” she asked. 

“I find myself wondering… should we consider becoming a throuple: me, my husband, and his new digital darling?” 

Positive uses of AI

Writer Barbara Scully was somewhat optimistic and said it sounds like there is no major problem in the marriage. 

“This is one of the most positive uses of AI I've ever heard – encouraging men to talk about their emotions and feelings,” she said. 

“But this isn’t a girlfriend, it’s not even a ‘she’ - if he has really feelings for it, that’s just daft. 

“But the advice I would give this woman is stay out of this ‘relationship’ in inverted commas – don't try and get yourself involved in this. 

“It’s working for him, and you're getting the benefit of it.” 

Joaquin Phoenix in Her, a film about a man who falls in love with an AI chatbot. Image: BFA / WBJoaquin Phoenix in Her, a film about a man who falls in love with an AI chatbot. Image: BFA / WB

Host Seán Moncrieff doused Barbara’s optimism by pointing out that if an AI is in ‘girlfriend mode’, it’s a “man's vision of what a woman should be”. 

The AI partner could then present some red flags about what her husband wants in a relationship. 

Broadcaster Declan Buckley also saw many more issues with the use of AI in a marriage. 

“Technologies can be misused,” he said. 

“The Internet was meant to be this amazing source for commerce and information – and basically it’s for porn.” 

Digital dilemmas

Declan agreed with Barbara, however, that the AI could simply be having a positive impact on their marriage. 

“It has had a positive consequence for her relationship - regardless of whether the outside external source that the partner had used is an app online, or psychotherapists or the Bible,” he said. 

“This is a disembodied computer program answering questions. 

“Now if you start adding on bodies and flesh, that’s getting into a different kind of aspect – but we’re talking about somebody confiding in or sharing their thoughts with somebody else.” 

The pair agreed the woman should find out more about how the husband interacts with the AI partner. 

One texter suggested the husband wouldn’t need to use AI if there wasn’t something lacking in the marriage.