On this week’s ‘So You Think You’re an Adult?’, one woman’s husband is threatened by her male work friend – despite the fact he recently came out as gay. 

“Recently, one of the men on my team came out as gay,” she told Moncrieff.  

“I have to say off the bat, he is very good looking, dresses well, and has a great personality. 

“In the last 6 months we have become very close, and since he has stated dating guys, he has come to me with relationship issues.” 

In one instance, the woman and her friend spoke for over an hour on the phone. 

“However, my husband finds my relationship with this man really uncomfortable,” she said. 

“He told me that he doesn’t like me being so close to another man, and even said ‘sure he was with women before, what’s stopping him from doing it again’.” 

She said her husband is “never like this” and she doesn’t know how to explain that this man is just a friend.

'Homophobic undertones'

Broadcaster Declan Buckley said “there’s a couple of levels” to this woman’s problem. 

“There’s alarm bells with the slightly homophobic undertones with this,” he said. 

“What does she need to explain? He’s gay. 

“Apart from that, just think there is someone who’s married whose friendship with another person, irrespective of gender, is causing an irritation to her husband.” 

Declan said her husband’s “jealousy” needs to be addressed “and taken seriously”. 

“Because the husband is a bit kind of primitive, he can’t register what the wife has registered,” he said.  

“This is a perfect opportunity to have a male friend that is non-threatening and honestly a bit more interesting.” 

Man in office holding phone with LGBTQ+ Pride flag in the background. Image: Jordi Calvera Solé / Alamy Stock Photo

Writer Barbara Scully said the husband “isn’t thinking with his brain” and “can’t get over that this is an attractive man with his wife’s attention”. 

“The husband needs help in understanding what’s going on,” she said. “He’s feeling left out. 

“She needs to sit down with the husband and explain this is a platonic relationship and the friend needs a bit of support and an ear while he's going through this particular phase of starting to date men. 

“He should accept that.” 

'He's feeling neglected'

Declan said a lot of the husband’s jealousy seems to “predicated on the fact that it’s a man”. 

“Get a grip,” he said. 

Barbara, however, said the husband just feels left out and like he’s not getting enough time with his wife. 

“Just make a little bit of time for him, he’s feeling a bit neglected,” she said.