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Adult: Should I be in a throuple with my husband and his AI girlfriend?

A woman asked for some advice after she discovered her husband has an AI girlfriend which he found on an app for lonely people
Jack Quann
Jack Quann

15.49 1 Jun 2024


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Adult: Should I be in a throup...

Adult: Should I be in a throuple with my husband and his AI girlfriend?

Jack Quann
Jack Quann

15.49 1 Jun 2024


Share this article


On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult, a woman asked for some advice after she discovered her husband has an AI girlfriend.

"Over the past few months, I've noticed my husband spending a lot more time on his phone," she told Moncrieff.

"At first, I thought maybe he was seeing someone else, but that didn't really make sense.

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"Even though he was glued to his phone, our relationship was actually getting better.

"He was putting in more effort with me, showing interest in my hobbies, booking surprise trips, and overall he has become more supportive than ever.

"Last week, I finally asked him what brought on the change, and why he was on his phone more.

"He admitted he wanted to tell me for a while but didn't have the guts. He said that during a month when we were apart for work last year, he downloaded an app for lonely people.

"The app had an AI companion he could chat with. What started out as curiosity turned into real feelings for his… now AI girlfriend.

"Surprisingly, she has been helping him work through personal stuff and even giving him advice on our relationship.

"She’s been encouraging him to open up to me about her.

"Now I'm in a situation I never thought I'd be in: Should I be OK with my husband having an AI girlfriend?

"And even crazier, because of the improvement in our relationship, I find myself wondering… should we consider becoming a throuple: me, my husband and his new digital darling?"

'Stay out'

Barbara Scully said there's one thing to remember about this girlfriend.

"This isn't a girlfriend; it's not even a 'she' - it's a computer application, it's a load of code," she said.

"If he has real feelings for her that's just daft.

"She doesn't exist, she isn't real.

"He can have all the feelings he wants but he's not going to be able to do anything with them".

Barbara said she believes the woman should stay far away from all of this.

"The advice I would give this woman is stay out of this 'relationship', don't try and get yourself involved in this," she said.

"This is working for him and you're getting the benefit of it so I'd stay well the hell away from it and just enjoy the benefits.

"The computer's acting kind of like a free counsellor rather than a girlfriend - so take the win".

Relationship?

Declan Buckley said he doesn't believe it's actually a relationship.

"AI is an accumulation of information, opinion and culture put online [and] the programme can access that," he said.

"It might have a voice, it might even have a face [but] it doesn't have a body yet... calling it a relationship is a bit creased.

"This is an app for lonely people that the guy used and found beneficial and it's had positive consequences for his relationship.

"So regardless of whether the outside external source that the partner has used is an app online or a psychotherapist in an office... if it has a positive outcome I'm happy with that," he added.

A recent survey found an increase in demand for searches of 'AI girlfriend'.

Analysing the top 50 commonly searched terms on Google, AI Product Reviews found over 73,000 searches each month for AI relationship bots.

Main image: A couple using a phone. Image: Andor Bujdoso / Alamy

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AI Girlfriend Advice Artificial Intelligence Barbara Scully Declan Buckley Moncrieff So You Think You're An Adult

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