This week on ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one woman asks for help about how to cope with moving in with her in-laws. 

She and her partner are saving to buy their first home together and are not renewing the lease on their apartment next month. 

To save cash, they will be moving in with his parents - something the woman is dreading. 

“My partner’s mother seems nice at first but is so overbearing,” she wrote into Moncrieff. 

“She doesn’t respect our privacy and any time we’d have to stay over before, she has barged into the bedroom without even knocking. 

“His Dad sees me as the ‘difficult, demanding one’ and always brings up my partner’s previous ex - which I think is so rude. 

“I chatted to my partner about my nerves and how things could go badly but he just bats me away. 

“They are his parents; he loves them and he can’t see any of their faults. 

“I’m really worried about boundaries and how to manage this situation.” 

Broadcaster Barbara Scully sympathised with the woman’s plight but said she needs to quickly develop a more positive attitude. 

At the end of the day, the move will help the couple buy their first home together. 

“I think if you’re going in with the attitude, ‘It’s going to be awful, I hate his parents’ - I’m a firm believer that whatever you say and you think very often is what gets delivered to you by the universe,” she said. 

“You need to start by going, ‘It’ll be fine, it won’t be the best fun possibly but it will be okay and we will get through it.’ 

“You will need a little bit of patience and tolerance to equip you through the year.” 

'This isn't your house'

Barbara also recommended talking to her partner again about her concerns ahead of the big move. 

“Have a serious chat with him about setting a few boundaries,” she suggested. 

“Bearing in mind this isn’t your house, it is their house and you’re a guest, unfortunately. 

“At the same time, things like the privacy issue shouldn’t be - that should be respected. 

“I think you need to have a chat with your other half about him dealing with that with his mother. 

“You need to do that without criticising the in-laws - then you’re on a hiding to nothing - but if you gently explain to him that you need to be confident that if you’re in your room, that Mammy-in-law isn’t going to come barging in with no notice.”

According to the CSO, seven in 10 Irish people under the age of 25 live with their parents. 

Main image: A couple visiting in-laws. Picture by: Alamy.com