Coercive control survivor Nicola Hanney has said she was terrified former partner would use his position as a Garda to ‘come after’ anyone she went to for help.
Garda Paul Moody became one of the first people in Ireland to be jailed for coercive control in 2022 – after he pleaded guilty to abusing Nicola over a three-year period.
During that time, he sent her tens of thousands of “vile, abusive and threatening” messages.
The court heard he also beat her, harassed her and her loved ones, threatened to kill her, damaged her property, and recklessly put her life in danger in his car.
Now, Nicola has written a new book entitled ‘Stronger: What Didn’t Kill Me, Made Me' detailing her journey from survivor to advocate.
On the Pat Kenny Show this morning, Nicola said she thought she had found her ‘Prince Charming’ when she first met Moody online in 2017.
As the relationship wore on, however, Moody became increasingly abusive – even attempting to stop Nicola from receiving cancer treatment.
She said it took time for him to change from the “really nice guy” he was at first – and to start showing the ‘different sides’ of his personality.
"He was very nasty. When the mask slips, it's a completely different person," said Nicola.
Pregnancy
The pair had a baby together but never married, something Nicola now ‘thanks the stars’ for.
It was while she was pregnant was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.
“I was five months into the pregnancy and I found a lump again,” said Nicola.
“That baby gave him the authority over me. And by God, did he show me how much control he had.”
Trapped
Nicola said Moody made it impossible for her to reach out for help – adding that his position as a member of An Garda Síochána made him especially intimidating to her.
“I was afraid to tell anybody to involve people because he'd come after them,” said Nicola.
“Like, I was literally on my own; so sick I was actually dying.
"I was minding my brand-new baby, and I couldn't tell other people because - how could I risk jeopardizing their livelihoods and lives?”
Abusive messages
She said Moody sent abusive messages to her throughout her treatment – encouraging her to give up on recovery.
“The messages would come through when I'm sitting in a chemo ward,” she said. “Things like, ‘Don't worry, I have a new mother lined up for the child already.
“'You know you're dying. Just accept you're dying; I will not bring the baby to visit you, even when you're in the Hospice.’”
Listen back here:
If you or someone you know is impacted by any form of domestic abuse, please reach out for support.
You can contact the Women’s Aid 24-hour national helpline on 1800 341 900.
Details of all domestic and sexual violence services are available at stillhere.ie.
