A mother of two has said one of the hardest parts of being diagnosed with cancer was the fact that so many people simply ghosted her during her illness. 

Forty-three-year-old Donna Kelly was diagnosed three years ago after she found a lump in her left breast and informed it was Stage Two cancer. 

As part of her treatment she had a double mastectomy, followed by reconstruction and chemotherapy and a full hysterectomy. 

Speaking to Lunchtime Live, Ms Kelly said the experience overall had been a “difficult” one and said she would always be “very grateful” to those who helped her when she was sick.

However, many people she knew never got in touch and she described the phenomenon of ‘cancer ghosting’ as an “uncomfortable truth” for many patients. 

“It’s a term that I came across when I was actually in a therapy appointment,” she said. 

“We get an oncologist psychologist and they help us through our oncology treatment. 

“I was in the pits; I was so depressed and I couldn’t understand why I had so many friends and people I was so close to before I had been diagnosed. 

“And here I was sitting in the throes of treatment and I had heard from a handful of people. 

“I hadn’t had any phone calls, I hadn’t had any text messages - bar this handful of people - and I would have thought I had a lot of friends. 

“So many people didn’t reach out and I couldn’t figure out why.” 

Ms Kelly lives in a small community where “news spreads fast”, it is not the type of place where people did not hear what she was going through. 

“Some people say it’s because people are uncomfortable and they don’t know what to say,” she said. 

“Traditionally when you hear the word cancer, you think, ‘How long do they have left to live?’ 

“Thankfully that’s not the way it is now [but] is it that? It is uncomfortableness about death and the possibility of death?

“The word uncomfortable is the word that keeps coming to mind.” 

For those who learn that someone in their life has cancer or some other type of illness, Ms Kelly urged them to get in touch. 

“We all have uncomfortable feelings and as human beings we don’t like being in uncomfortable situations and we try and avoid them - and that’s okay,” she said. 

“But it’s really not about you and your uncomfortable feeling, it’s about the person who has been diagnosed and their immediate family and what they’re going through. 

“Being diagnosed with cancer is a trauma and they really need you to be there. 

“You don’t need to come along and try and fix it or try and make it better… You just need to send a text message and make a phone call.” 

An estimated 43,000 Irish people get cancer every year.

Main image: Donna Kelly. Picture by: The Kelly family.