A woman who was sexually abused by her brother has criticised the Judge for quoting character references before handing him a suspended sentence.
Miriam Henry and her older sister were both abused by their brother when they were children.
The abuse began in the family home when Mary was six and her brother was 12 and continued for about four years.
Her brother was found guilty of five sample counts of abuse and received a fully suspended sentence last Friday.
Ms Henry told Lunchtime Live the abuse was part of her daily life.
"This went on when I was quite young, my brother is six years older than me," she said.
"He abused me and my sister the same - she's three years older than me and he's three years older than her.
"The abuse suffered by me went on for much longer; it just kind of became part of daily life".
'I didn't realise what was going on'
Ms Henry said she began to realise something was wrong as she got older.
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and I was in secondary school and you start learning about sex and relationships," she said.
"When I was a child, I was so young I didn't realise what was going on.
"When I was a teenager... it was then that I realised what had happened to me and that it was wrong.
"Not only did he take my childhood away from me but he also took those teenage years away from me.
"He's also taken part of my adult life away from me as I've tried to deal with the abuse".
A young Mary Henry seen around the time of the abuse. Image: SuppliedMs Henry said no one else was aware of the abuse.
"We grew up in quite an unhappy family home," she said.
"There was quite a lot of other issues in the home.
"It's one thing to go through this where you haven't told somebody but it's another thing to tell somebody and they don't care".
Ms Henry said she first spoke about the abuse when she went to Gardaí in 2018.
"I'd been in counselling in the Rape Crisis Centre in Waterford for about a year before that," she said.
"I had already started unpacking what I had been through before I went to the Guards".
'Justice for child you'
Ms Henry said giving her statement to the Gardaí was "very retraumatising".
"It's very traumatic retelling the actual incidents because obviously you have to give as much detail as you possibly can," she said.
"It's very retraumatising to think back on all of the incidents.
"I think sex is something that a lot of people would have difficulty discussing anyway, never mind when you're talking about something like this.
"When you go through the system of giving your statement and going to court, you're there at the age this happened to you, you're there at the age you realised as a teenager that this happened to you.
"You're there as your adult self, trying to get justice for child you".
Character references
Ms Henry said going through the courts was "absolutely awful".
"The trial has to happen in the area where the abuse happened," she said.
"We lived in Kerry at the time; we lived just outside Tralee when we were children.
"So not only did I have the trauma of going through this trial but I then had the trauma of travelling back to this area that I haven't been to in many, many years.
"That in itself bring back a lot of bad memories".
Ms Henry also criticised the judge’s use of character references in her sentencing.
"After we read out our Victim Impact Statements and after he had been found guilty, two character references were handed in.
"They were read out loud in the courtroom; one of them was from his wife and one was from his father-in-law.
"I know a lot of people think Judges don't put a lot of weight on them - however when the Judge was giving her judgement - the sentencing - she specifically mentioned parts of those character references as mitigating circumstances.
"She actually read snippets from those character references in her judgement.
"Not only did we have to hear them once we then heard them twice, all these platitudes about our brother".
'Difficult to trust people'
Ms Henry said the abuse means she has a complete lack of trust in other people.
"I don't trust anybody; I find it very difficult to trust people even now.
"It's very difficult when something like this happens when you're a child.
"It's one thing for it to happen outside of the family but when your trust is broken like this by a family member, you then begin to think, 'If my own family would do this to me [then] strangers out in the world would do much worse'".
'Feels like a punishment'
Ms Henry said she also lost family members as a result.
"I've lost my childhood, essentially, I've lost my parents in this - my mother has taken the side of my brother," she said.
"She sat in court every day for the two weeks of the trial supporting him, as did his wife.
"It's obviously very upsetting to lose the person - particularly when it's your mother - [who] gave birth to me.
"To see her turn her back on me is obviously very hurtful.
"I've lost an awful lot because of this and it feels like a punishment for seeking justice for my child self," she added.
Her brother received an 18-month sentence suspended for three years and is on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
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Anyone affected by issues raised in this article can contact the 24-hour National Rape Crisis Helpline at 1800 77 8888
