What’s it like to foster a child as a single gay man? 

Any adult can foster in Ireland - whether they are married or single, gay or straight. 

Some care for children for only a short amount of time, for others the placements can be much longer. 

On Moncrieff, one Foster Dad, who will remain anonymous to protect the identity of the child in his care, said he always “pictured kids in his life somewhere”. 

“As the years went on, I’d always pictured it was going to be part of a relationship,” he said. 

“When that didn’t quite happen - or maybe not quite yet - with the support of a good friend, they encouraged me to look at fostering. 

“And here I am today.” 

As you might expect, Foster Dad underwent vetting and Tusla also provided him with “excellent training”. 

“It’s standard questions that you’d like to think would be asked coming into a safe and nurturing environment,” he said. 

“It’s all really positive.” 

More foster parents needed

Despite a shortage of foster parents, Foster Dad still suffered from a niggling feeling about whether it was right for him to go ahead with his application. 

“I had so many preconceptions in my own head of all the boundaries that I’d put in place to prevent me from doing this,” he said. 

“As I human being, we get into that loop where we put all the roadblocks in place. 

“For me, it was, ‘Am I too old? Could I do it as a single person?’ 

“I’m a single gay man and I work full-time - what did I even have to offer a child in the first place? What makes me think I could even do this?”

In the end, it took nine months for a child to be placed with him - at which point he felt well-prepared. 

“The training goes to cover all the different scenarios,” he said. 

“Maybe some of the quite difficult and traumatic experiences that a person in care may have experienced. 

“A lot of the things that you might know might happen out there in society. 

“But a lot of things that you might not think about as well.” 

Return to their birth family?

Although many foster children stay with their new families long-term, it is different from adoption in that there is always the possibility that the child will go back to their birth family. 

“I did have to reflect on that,” Foster Dad said. 

“Not to get too philosophical about it but nothing in this life is permanent. 

“Life is subject to change every day. 

“So for me, the whole purpose of doing this is… if I can provide a safe and nurturing environment and happy space, whether it’s for a day, a month or a year, that is the goal. 

“That is the result.”  

You can listen back to the interview here:

Main image: A parent and child walking together. Picture by: Алла Чеснокова / Alamy.com