Have you considered that you’re not unlucky in love, you just don’t have the skills for it? 

Recently, Britney Spears finalised her third divorce and posted on social media that she was now, “Single as f***!” adding “I’ll never be with another man as long as I live!”

Speaking on The Pat Kenny Show, clinical psychotherapist and host of the podcast Tough Love Stephanie Regan said a desire to give up on men is a “very common feeling” for women going through a breakup.

Despite this, she urged people to view breakups a learning experience. 

If you’ve had many bad relationships or, as these women would say, many disastrous relationships - first of all I would say, it’s not a matter of luck, it’s a matter of learning,” she said.

“The whole thing of relationships is learning what it is you want, what works well for you, what kind of man or woman really makes you feel happy and makes you feel good about yourself.”

A couple having lunch in a cafe. Picture by: Alamy.com

Ms Regan noted that it is not unusual for a widowed man to find themselves a new partner with whom they enjoy a perfectly happy relationship. 

This, she believes, is down to the fact that if you know how to make one partner happy in a relationship, it is likely you can do it again. 

“We certainly know that people who have successful relationships or successful marriages, they are often quite quick to move into another successful relationship,” Ms Regan said. 

“So, what does that tell you? It tells me clear and clean that the skills of relationships - communicating what you want, getting on, sharing time, sharing space, resolving conflicts - these are all really important relationship skills.

“If you’ve already had a successful marriage and that person is widowed, there is every possibility that they will re-establish again.

“Men tend to re-establish more quickly because I think, if I may say, they tend to need and want the comfort of a relationship more than women do - because women rely a lot on women for friendship and support.”

Don't give up

Ms Regan said a successful relationship is “more about skill” and believes giving up on dating is “the wrong message” to take from a failed relationship.  

“You’re giving up on men because you feel you haven’t been lucky in relationships - relationships are not about luck,” she said. 

“If you’re thinking it’s just luck and you cannot work out why you’re having a series of disastrous relationships, then you need a third eye to look at what you’re doing. 

“That’s where therapy comes in.”

In 2022, according to the CSO, 23,173 marriages took place in Ireland.

Main image: Britney Spears and her third husband Sam Asghari. Picture by: Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP, File.