The first thing you need to do to get better at making conversation is realise you’re already good at it. 

That’s according to life coach and writer Robert Poynton who just released his latest book Do Conversation. 

The book promises to make difficult conversations easier and lower the risk of awkward silences in day-to-day life. 

Speaking on The Anton Savage Show today, Mr Poynton said among his “mantras and maxims” about talking, the main tip is a simple one. 

“Don’t avoid conversations – have them,” he said. 

“A lot of the time we will turn and look at our phone or not say something to the person next to on the platform or someone in the taxi. 

“We're actually all very good at conversations, but we think we’re poor.” 

'It's like jazz'

The life coach said while taking is an “incredibly complex skill”, but one that the majority of people can do. 

“There's a long history of this if you go back to the 17th and 18th century conversation was seen as an art form,” he said. 

“I think people feel their job is to perform and get stuff across in a particular, that there’s a right way of doing it, that they should be clever and witty. 

“Some conversations are like that, but most need not be that way.” 

Rather than seeing a chat as a performed “Q & A”, Mr Poynton suggested treating conversations like “jazz”. 

“Whether it’s two or three people, we’re weaving a kind of fabric and discovering new things,” he said. 

Conversations a 'physical thing'

Mr Poynton also recommended learning “conversations are a physical thing”. 

“You can think about your breathing, notice your seat on the chair if you’re sitting with your feet on the floor to bring you to the present moment,” he said. 

“That tends to relax you and open you up, make you more available to people, which can have an effect on the conversation.” 

While not every discussion is going to be a “glorious, flowing huge one”, Mr Poynton said they should never be anything to fear.