At what age can you leave children alone by themselves? 

It’s a question every parent has to ask themselves at some point and clinical psychologist Dr David Coleman says there is no right answer. 

“Unfortunately, it’s how long is a piece of string?” he told Newstalk Breakfast. 

“There’s no set age.” 

In Ireland, there is no law at which a child can be left alone; however, it is an offence to do so if it puts them at risk. 

Dr Coleman said the main thing to consider is the “developmental maturity of your child”. 

“I think we can say that if your child is under 10, I wouldn’t be leaving them on their own at all,” he said. 

“If they’re between 10 and 13, you might be considering 10-15 minutes if you’re popping out to the shops.

“In their teenage years, that’s when you can really think about them taking on some of that responsibility of being a little bit more independent in the home without you.” 

2HNTFJ3 30th of August 2020, Russia, Tosmk, teenagers on bmx bikes on the street

One thing to bear in mind is how well they cope carrying out certain risky tasks by themselves. 

“For example, if they decided to make a cup of tea - are they able to work the kettle or use the microwave?” Dr Coleman said.  

“Do they know how to lock and unlock all the doors in the house? 

“Are they comfortable if there was a visitor to the house while you were away? 

“Would they know what to do or how to respond to that?”

Ask the child

Another thing to consider is whether the child feels happy to be left alone. Parents may think they are ready but the child may find the prospect makes them feel “anxious”. 

“It’s not enough to think, ‘Oh, they’re 14 or 15 now, it’ll be fine - I’ve got to go and I’ll be back lunchtime,’” Dr Coleman said.  

“That might not be okay for them.” 

He also said children might be more comfortable being left alone at certain times of the day. 

“Some children might be okay over the summer if they’re left alone,” he said. 

“But if you’re working shifts and you might have to go out for night, is your child going to be okay in the house at night on their own? 

“They might be more anxious about that.” 

Dr Coleman recommended “having those conversations with them regularly” and doing some trials runs.  

“Leave them for shorter periods, see how that goes, see whether that did leave them anxious,” he said. 

“Were they able to cope? Were there any accidents? Then review it and maybe leave them for a bit longer.”

Main image: A teenager on his phone. Picture by: Alamy.com