A conversation with a random woman in a Dublin café in 2007 resulted in 10 years of stalking hell for Jarlath Rice.

They ended up meeting a couple more times before he realised she was a “troubled” person, but by then it was too late.

In a campaign lasting until 2017, Jarlath was assaulted, subjected to thousands of messages of abuse, and relentlessly followed in Ireland and abroad by a woman who has since been convicted of stalking in the UK.

On Lunchtime Live today, he said there are many parallels between his own story and that of Richard Gadd’s depicted in Netflix’s 'Baby Reindeer.'

“It was really strange watching it,” he said.

“It was a dramatisation of a true story but it had a lot of parallels.”

'Empathy'

Jarlath said he initially felt “empathy” for his stalker, who was a “troubled” person, but soon became concerned for his own safety.

“They had been following me, tracking me to my mother’s house, to where my father lived and finding out information about me," he said.

“They rang up my phone company, pretending to be my wife and that I died or I had been in hospital and had gotten the pin to my phone.

“They were listening to my phone messages and obviously monitoring what I was up to.”

A woman being stalked at night. Image: Andrew Cribb / Alamy Stock Photo

The woman began “popping up in strange places,” like when he was on the Luas, going to the shop, or leaving his home – all under the guise of chance encounters.

“Then she moved to an apartment above where I was living in Balinteer and had to drive by my house to get where she was going and that became a bit of an issue,” said Jarlath.

“When I didn’t want to talk to her, she’d often be confrontational and scream at me in the street or scream at me on the Luas – wherever I happened to be.”

'Nasty twist'

Jarlath said things soon took a “nasty twist”.

“I was doing work for a friend of mine, a female, and they had left a message on her phone,” he said.

“This woman had got the phone number, got the message and made a threat to my friend that she was on her way to her house and she had a hammer.

“My blood runs cold every time I think about it and that was the first sign that this person was dangerous.”

A woman holding a phone in front of a window. Picture by: Angelika Warmuth/DPA/PA Images

Gardaí visited the stalker who told them she was just “a bit emotional” after breaking up with Jarlath and they believed her.

“From there it became constant persistent emails, phone calls, she was adamant we were going to be in a relationship and that we should be together,” he said.

'Violent attack'

The stalker was brought to court on an assault charge after a “violent attack” on Jarlath on one occasion but it was struck out in lieu of a fine.

“I wasn’t believed - there’s no question - and she was believed,” he said.

“Being a man it was a case of ‘go and sort yourself out and your own problems out,’ which is quite frightening because a lot of this stuff was dangerous.

“I’m lucky to have got away with my life.”

Jarlath was forced to move homes on a number of occasions, even spending time in the US to escape his stalking hell before he eventually settled in Brighton.

“She followed me over and started making threats to me and a colleague at work, very seriously, and made death threats,” he said.

Sentenced

As the UK had strong laws against stalking in place at the time, unlike Ireland, police took the situation seriously and the woman was sentenced to eight years in prison.

She was released on parole after two years and Jarlath said, “Touch wood,” he hasn’t heard from her since.

Jarlath urged anyone who believes they may be experiencing stalking in Ireland to talk to someone about it and get help.

More details on available supports for stalking victims can be found at stalkinginireland.ie

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Main image: A hand against a window at night. Image: JIM RYCE / Alamy Stock Photo