Should children always be taught to share with one another? 

For generations, parents have told their offspring that ‘sharing is caring’ and an important skill they need to develop if they want to get on in life. 

However, not everyone agrees; parenting consultant Kirsty Ketley is teaching her children that they are perfectly within their rights to tell their peers that they want to keep something for themselves. 

“It’s not that I want to raise my children to be selfish or unkind,” she told Newstalk Breakfast. 

“It’s more that it helps them assert boundaries later on as they get older. 

“Their understanding about consent and that it’s okay that sometimes you can put your own needs first before others - which, I think, is quite an important lesson to learn in life.” 

Primary school children reading in a classroom. Picture by: Alamy.com. 

Ms Ketley did add that there are some situations where she would advise her children to share their belongings. 

“So when it comes to social situations and they’re younger and they’re playing with toys - absolutely,” she said.  

“You’ve got a child around for a playdate, the other child should be allowed to play with your toys, for instance. 

“But if there’s anything really special that a child doesn’t want to [share], we’ve always removed it from the situation. 

“So, for instance, precious lego models that have been built… get put away.” 

Two children eating lollipops. Picture by: TEERASAK AINKEAW / Alamy Stock Photo.

When asked whether a child should share a packet of sweets they were given as a treat, Ms Ketley said it would depend. 

“I don’t know that they should share,” she said. 

“My children actually do tend to share - without anybody forcing them into doing it.

“But I think it’s [different] when someone comes up and demands they should have what you’ve have.” 

Many parents believe that they are teaching their children empathy and kindness when they teach their children to share. 

However, Ms Ketley believes her children are already both those things. 

“They are empathetic, they are kind children, they are generous,” she said. 

“But true generosity comes from wanting to do something, not being forced into doing it. 

“And they do things because they want to do it; I think it’s more taking the pressure off forcing them to do something.”

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Main image: A boy looking at toys.