A well-known LGBTQI+ activist says his Dublin Pride experience was soured after he was twice approached by strangers ridiculing his weight.
Podcaster, writer and LGBT Ireland programme manager James O’Hagan was one of the thousands of people who took to the streets of the capital for the 40th Dublin Pride Parade last weekend.
On Newstalk Breakfast, he described it as a “beautiful and inclusive day” – until his celebrations were ruined by members of the community who approached him to ridicule his weight.
Mr O’Hagan said the experiences were "so at odds with what Pride is all about and what we want to be as an LGBTQ+ community".
"It just felt so out of place and I think that's what spurred me to want to say something about it.
"Sadly, I have a litany of examples going back years in every sort of place and setting of this kind of casual callous fatphobia that I've faced."
Twice yesterday, as I walked with 10’s of thousands of people through the streets of Dublin for @DublinPride , gay men approached me specifically to mock my fatness for the entertainment of their friends.
— James O’Hagan 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@jameso_hagan) June 25, 2023
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Mr O’Hagan said that all throughout his life, there have been examples of people feeling ‘free to make comments’ about his weight and lifestyle – or just making "regular old fat jokes".
"I know I'm not the only person who experiences that – when you're so used to experiencing something like that or where it happens every couple of weeks, you do just let it slide," he said.
"I was a fat, gay man on the streets of Dublin wearing a vibrant outfit, enjoying myself, and people saw that and were drawn to it to make comments snidely about the size and shape of my body."
One to snidely ask for “diet tips” and “compliment” my “slim physique” and the other to tell me how “great” I looked in my outfit and how he (a muscular thin man) “could never find his size”. In each case their friends watched on and laughed at my humiliation.
— James O’Hagan 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@jameso_hagan) June 25, 2023
Mr O'Hagan said fat shaming is "a very real part of the majority of fat people's experiences in our society".
"I have these examples going back through where people have felt free to approach me either to ridicule me, to give me unsolicited advice, to make assumptions about who I am or how I live my life," he said.
"Weight is tied so intrinsically to value and to worth and to your space and place in society, that if you are bigger, you're seen as having failed in some way – you're seen as intrinsically being a failure."
Journey
As someone who has experienced fatphobia throughout his life, Mr O'Hagan said he has been on a "years-long journey" to accept himself and his body.
"[I've been] through all sorts of self-help and counselling and things that we all need to be engaging in to keep ourselves able to be in a place of love with who we are," he said.
"The way in which I would have reacted when I was younger, and these wounds were raw – I am past that now."
At one time these incidents would have destroyed me, I would have been overwhelmed by shame and self hate. Thankfully I am passed that point and I can shrug it off and see these twats for the cruel and immature people they are.
— James O’Hagan 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@jameso_hagan) June 25, 2023
Mr O'Hagan said a lot of fat people are still unable to accept their bodies.
"They see the signs in society around us that really tells people that there's a hierarchy in terms of how your body should be and if you aren't in a particular category or aren't striving towards a particular category, that you do matter less," he said.
"It's not okay, ever, to comment on another person's body unsolicited.
"Examine where those impulses are coming from, why you believe that and go and read a bit more about the experiences of fat people in our society."
