Today's playdates are taking a toll, with some parents feeling pressure to keep up with unrealistic expectations.

A number of parents have said they feel expected to provide elaborate meals and extensive activities for their children's guests.

On Lunchtime Live, Opinions Matter podcast host Katie Makk said playdates can often feel "forced".

"I feel like I have to have stuff ready to do baking, or I have to have stuff in to keep them busy," she said.

She said the pressure to have an array of activities for her children's guests comes from other parents.

"It's almost like school outside of school sometimes because everything is so regimented," she said.

Influence of technology

Ms Makk said children's exposure to phones and gaming consoles has had an effect on their imaginations and put pressure on parents to provide offline activities. 

"I think kids get bored more easily now, and it's probably a lot to do with gaming and phones," she said.

Miss Makk said her children would not recognise the outdoor games she played as a child, such as tip the can.

"It's like kids today don't have the same imagination we had," she said.

Social media

Social media has a role to play in making playdates more competitive, some parents say.

Irish Independent journalist Tanya Sweeney said elaborate playdates are "performative" and "exhausting".

"It's not really for the benefit of the kids, it's about being the perfect parent," she said.

Ms Sweeney said parents are expected to "have it all" and there's a "one-upmanship" involved in planning playdates.

"It's about producing fantastic lunches out of nowhere even though you're working full-time," she said.

Ms Sweeney also said between activities, snacks and meals, the financial cost of playdates is putting pressure on parents.

She pointed to a recent playdate she hosted where her grocery bill came to €90.

Back to basics

Journalist Niamh O'Reilly says parents should "take a step back" when it comes to playdates.

"Kids will just have fun playing with other kids and we’ve just made it something other than it needs to be," she said.

She recommends that parents keep things simple for their child's next playdate.

"As an experiment, don't try and put as much effort into it and see how it goes - I bet the kids will still have a total blast," she said.

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