Is it possible not to turn into our parents?

Such is society’s fear of a woman ‘turning into her mother’, there are even internet memes about the phenomenon.

Some people, however, think it’s a positive thing and simply reflects a strong bond between a parent and their child.

Whatever your view on the matter, psychotherapist and mother of three Bethan O’Riordan said there is something a little inevitable about it.

“It’s our DNA, it’s our lived experiences,” she told Moncrieff.

“It’s how our body forms an emotional memory and a memory of how to behave and then it comes out.

“The thing about parenthood is this, we are activated all the time by things our children do and things our children say.

“Our body becomes activated and then we respond in a way that our parents would have done.”

'It takes an enormous amount of work'

Despite this, she believes that it is “possible to change” but that it is difficult as parents are “always triggered” by the things their kids do.

“It takes an enormous amount of work to know, ‘Okay, this a time that I am going to be triggered and I’m going to say something helpful instead,’” she said.

For those still keen to change, Ms O’Riordan’s advice is simple but possibly quite hard to follow through with.

“The easiest thing for most parents to remember is probably closing your mouth,” she said.

“I know that might sound like, ‘That was a ridiculous thing to say, you’ve been doing this for 20 years and that’s your best tip?’

“But when we close our mouth, it affords us the opportunity to take a pause and when we pause that affords us the opportunity to respond rather than react.

“Perhaps then we can be the parent and person we want to be.”

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Main image: Mother and daughter having a chat and cup of tea. Picture by: Alamy.com