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'It's tone deaf' - Debate over fining parents for unruly kids in restaurants

One restaurant in the US is charging some of its customers for their inability to control their children while they dine
Jack Quann
Jack Quann

21.36 10 Nov 2023


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'It's tone deaf' - Debate over...

'It's tone deaf' - Debate over fining parents for unruly kids in restaurants

Jack Quann
Jack Quann

21.36 10 Nov 2023


Share this article


A debate has arisen over whether the idea of fining parents for their unruly children is a good one.

One restaurant in the US is charging some of its customers for their inability to control their children while they dine there.

The Toccoa Riverside Restaurant in Georgia has warned diners of an 'adult surcharge for adults unable to parent'.

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A section of the Toccoa Riverside Restaurant menu, noting the '$$$' surcharge for some parents A section of the Toccoa Riverside Restaurant menu, noting the '$$$' surcharge for some parents

For some diners, they found out the hard way - saying they were sprung with the charge as they tried to settle their bill.

Irish Times Columnist Jen Hogan told The Hard Shoulder she believes the measure goes too far.

"These are kids - first of all nobody knows why a child might act up," she said.

"There could be something going on in the background, could be a sensory overwhelm, could be a child with additional needs.

"It could be a child just being a child; and also, [the term] 'unruly' is subjective.

"One person's unruly is another person's exuberance and excitement.

"There's no parent [that] enjoys when their child does act up, and it happens to all of us.

"Kids are kids and they act up sometimes... and we've become this society.

"We've made it OK to be intolerant of children.

"If we were to say this about any other age group in society, there'd be murder."

'Children's rights'

Jen said children are being treated as second-class citizens.

"We saw this even through the pandemic where it was OK to exclude children from shops, and it was OK - I suppose - the disproportionate impacts that restrictions had on children," she said.

"We have been OK with infringing on children's rights and in treating children as second-class citizens for quite a while.

"The idea that we'd turn around now and say, 'We're going to fine you if your child acts up'.

"It's tone deaf, it doesn't get who kids are or what parents want," she added.

'These places are important'

Podcast host Stefanie Preissner said she thinks there should be child-free places.

"If I bring my child somewhere I don't want to feel like there are people there who are too sensitive to her crying," she said.

"I just want to be able to be like, 'She's going to be the way she is, and that's fine'.

"But if I go to the trouble of getting a babysitter, paying a babysitter, and leaving my house to go for a meal, I don't want other people's children around.

"There should be child-free restaurants, there are child-free hotels.

"I believe that even parents who have children respect and believe that these places are important.

"Then at least if you know someone's tutting and rolling their eyes at your child having a fit, you can sit up on your high horse thinking, 'Well you could have gone to a child-free restaurant but you chose to come here and I'm here with my child and I hope she ruins your meal'".

Jen said the idea could be a slippery slope.

"If we say it's OK to have child-free zones, then one day it's OK to have women-free zones - 'there's no women allowed in this restaurant'," she said.

While Stefanie suggested such areas already exist.

"We also ask for women-only spaces, so men-free zones on trains. I know it's not the case everywhere, but they do exist," she added.

It comes after one European airline announced earlier this year it was introducing child-free zones for passengers over the the age of 16.

Listen back here:

Main image: A young girl crying at a dinner table, 17-1-2017. Image: Folio Images / Alamy

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Fining Parents Georgia Jen Hogan Restaurant Stefanie Preissner The Hard Shoulder Toccoa Riverside Restaurant Unruly Kids

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