A Donegal woman who was raped and sexually abused by her father says speaking out has helped release her from the crippling guilt and shame she has felt since she was nine years old.

Karen Harkin’s father Michael Carter was last month found guilty of one count of rape and 25 counts of sexual assault on his daughter when she was aged between nine and 12 years old.

Carter was yesterday sentenced to 11 years in prison with six months suspended.

The 55-year-old had pleaded not guilty and the court was told he still does not accept the jury’s verdict.

On Lunchtime Live this morning, Karen Harkin said she was terrified going to court for the sentencing, even though her father had already been found guilty.

“I think in a way, I was filled with a sense of relief when Judge O’Connor did call out the sentence,” she said.

“It just freed me even more because it made me realise that I am so right in doing this and this is what I had to do for nine-year-old me.

“This is what nine-year-old me deserves. So honestly, I was filled with a sense of relief afterwards.”

Karen Harkin outside the Criminal Courts of Justice before her father Michael Carter was sentenced to 10-and-a-half years in prison, 25-07-2023. Image: Leah Farrell/RollingNews

Ms Harkin said she had “quite a happy childhood” and a “lovely relationship” with her father before the abuse started.

“Things started to change around the age of nine,” she said.

“I don’t know why they changed and I don’t think I will ever fully understand why they did change.

“When they did, my life was just never the same after that. I just became this anxious vulnerable young girl, and I became so alienated from the world around me. I just felt so alone because of what my father was doing to me.”

Guilt and shame

She said she was too young to understand what was happening and remembers thinking, “Oh this must be normal because my own father is doing it to me, so how can this be wrong.”

“From when I was nine years of age up until not that long ago, I have internalised those feelings of guilt and shame and if I’m honest, they have kind of consumed my life until recently,” she said.

“They have crippled me in a way because no matter how many times people said to me, ‘It’s not your fault, you shouldn’t be guilty’, I could never understand it or I could never accept it.

“[Speaking out] has helped me release myself from that guilt and helped me be able to look forward to the future and be able to actually move on with my life.”

Karen Harkin speaks outside the Criminal Courts of Justice after her father Michael Carter was sentenced to 10-and-a-half years in prison, 25-07-2023. Image: Leah Farrell/RollingNews

Ms Harkin said she believes there is still a stigma attached to sexual abuse survivors in Ireland and spoke of her fear that people would “think so badly of me”.

“I thought they would think, in a way, she is disgusting,” she said.

“But that is just what I had internalised over the years and I hope that me speaking out yesterday and through this court process, will release some of that stigma and encourage others to speak out.”

Not alone

She encouraged all survivors and anyone going through any form of abuse to speak out and seek help.

“I know that it can be the most terrifying thing, being in that cycle of guilt, and it can be so terrifying to speak out because of those fears of not being believed.

“Those fears of being at fault are just so crippling.

“I just hope that, if someone is listening today and they are going through this but feel like they are not strong enough or they’re not brave enough to speak out that, just because they don’t speak out straight away it doesn’t take away from what they are going through and it doesn’t take away the fact that this is their life and it doesn’t make them any less braver or any less stronger.

“I just hope that, even by listening to me today, it makes people feel like they are not alone.”

Karen Harkin speaks outside the Criminal Courts of Justice after her father Michael Carter was sentenced to 10-and-a-half years in prison, 25-07-2023. Image: Leah Farrell/RollingNews

Ms Harkin said that, despite the years of abuse and the fact her father does not accept the verdict, she still loves him.

“At the end of that day he is still my father and part of me still remembers all those good years we had and those good memories we had,” she said.

“For me, that was one of the hardest things that people couldn’t understand because I think people think when you go through abuse at the hands of you father you kind of turn to the side of hating him and not wanting to help him in any way.

“But to be honest, it just made me realise that I do love him so much and I always will love him. Even though he did this tribble thing to me I still feel love for him and even yesterday when I heard the sentence part of me did feel sorry for him and part of my heart just kind of broke, in a way.”

"I can't wait to move on"

Now 22 years old, Ms Harkin is looking forward to putting the case behind her and moving to the next phase of her life.

After failing to sit the majority of the Leaving Cert in Sixth Year, she went back to repeat and achieved nearly 600 points.

She now plans to go to college in September.

“I just can’t wait to move on to be honest,” she said. “I feel like I want to leave this chapter of my life behind me.

“Although it will always be a part of me and it will always be a part of my life, I just don’t want it to consume me anymore.

“I don’t want to be overwhelmed by the feelings of guilt and shame; I don’t want to feel like I am wrong.

“I want to go on and hopefully become a teacher someday and pursue the dreams I have always wanted to.”

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If you or someone you know is impacted by any of the content in this article you can contact the National 24-hour Rape Crisis Helpline on 1800 77 8888.