A self-described 'male dating guru' has said men need to know what they want before they get into a relationship.
David Meessen, who is originally from Germany and lives in Ireland, held a nine-hour coaching day in Dublin last weekend.
He told Lunchtime Live why he got into the business.
"I was married to somebody who wasn't right for me," he said. "That was a painful learning experience.
"Not necessarily because there was anything wrong with her or with me; I think it was just a lack of compatibility.
'Compatibility in values'
He said he became interested in the dating game after meeting his “mentor” while working for a tech company in Dublin.
Soon after he began offering his own coaching.
"I realised I always liked coaching; I was coaching karate at Maynooth University many years ago.
"I always liked working with people and now I've worked with men from 30 countries to help them find someone and get a better social life."
David Meessen is seen in Newstalk studios with Lunchtime Live presenter Andrea Gilligan. Image: NewstalkDavid said the most important thing for men who are looking for a partner is to know what you want.
"Most people - and that applies to men and women - we just stumble into relationships because we meet somebody who happens to be at work, in the social circle," he said.
"The probability that you're going to find somebody who's actually right for you if you're not really aiming for compatibility in values and personality is very low.
"The first thing [to be aware of] is 'Who am I, what do I stand for, what are my values?' and then find somebody who believes the same.
"It's very difficult if you to have fundamental discussions around values all the time.
"Then it's about creating more options; you can meet people on dating apps, you can meet people in person, get more dates and learn how to communicate effectively on dates".
David said authenticity is key.
"I'm sure you've heard, 'Nice guys finish last' which is absolute nonsense," he said.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with being nice but... what women don't like is men who are fake, who agree when they don't feel like agreeing.
"Most men or women they end up either the slave or the tyrant of the relationship where they can't communicate their needs.
"If I communicate a need and I'm afraid she or he won't be able to meet it and then I'm faced with the possibility of losing that person, that makes it very difficult to communicate - but if I don't communicate my needs I won't be happy.
David said most men are scared of rejection.
"Most men are scared of women, not from a physical point of view but from an emotional perspective," he said.
"What do most men look like when they go out on a night? They drink a s**t tonne of alcohol, hoping they'll be able to introduce themselves... because they're really super scared of rejection - most men.
"Then we see the other extreme of this - telling women what to do - because the pendulum usually swings, if you have a trend, you have a counter-trend.
"I don't think either extreme is healthy".
'Find their own way'
David said relationships are about individuals working together.
"I believe in individual happiness and individual happiness is absolutely individual," he said.
"If we talk about this idea of gender roles - traditional gender roles - for some people they're great [but] for some people they're not so great.
"I think people have got to find their own way."
Asked if there was an element of misogyny in his approach, David said: "I don't even know what that word means".
"Maybe it's because English is my second language, but I don't even know what that word means".
David said his success is ultimately defined by the goals of individual clients.
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