Your emotional well-being should take precedence at Christmas time, a mental health charity has said.

Christmas is often seen as a happy time but can also bring some challenges, particularly when navigating tricky relationships with toxic family members.

National mental health charity turn2me CEO Fiona O’Malley told Breakfast Briefing that it is “totally fine” for your “emotional well-being” to “take precedence” over the festive period.

Practical tips

Turn2me has issued some practical tips to help people manage their toxic family members over the festive period.

“Toxic family members are people who can be manipulating or can make passive aggressive comments or can bring a negative atmosphere into a room,” Ms O’Malley said.

“They don't always have to intentionally bring you down or intentionally make you feel bad, but for whatever reason, they can really undermine you, or they can damage your confidence, or can make you feel bad about yourself and your achievements in life.

“They're not bad people, but sometimes it's just better to have a plan in place to resolve any conflicts that you're having without having permanent damage to relationships or worsening things.

"Go in with a plan"

Ms O’Malley said when dealing with toxic people, it’s easy to revert back to your childhood self.

“It can be difficult to deal with these issues, because, you know, we can't get these people out of our lives, necessarily.

“Again, they're not necessarily bad people.

“Sometimes they can be incredibly kind and be incredibly giving in other ways.

“It takes a lot for someone to decide that they want to limit time that they spend with these people.

“It's certainly better to go into Christmas or go into these meetings over the festive period with a plan."

"Protecting your peace"

Ms O’Malley said that people often say “boundaries are about pushing people away” but they are actually “about protecting your peace” during the Christmas period.

“If you know that certain conversations or behaviours can cause stress, it's good to establish boundaries ahead of time and this means politely but quite firmly letting family members know that certain topics or actions [that] are off limits,” she said.

“For example, if you want to avoid discussing your work or your personal relationships, you could make this clear in advance.

“You can say to your parents, siblings, or anyone who's going to be in the house over the Christmas, ‘it's just not something I'm willing to discuss’.”

"Schedule breaks"

Limiting the time you spend with these family members is another tip, Ms O’Malley said.

“If you spend extended periods with these toxic family members that can feel overwhelming, but if you plan ahead, you can limit your time together,” she said.

“This could mean arriving later, arriving earlier, or if you schedule breaks during family gatherings like saying, ‘I have to take a phone call at x time’ or ‘I need to have a walk around the block after lunchtime’.

“That can lessen the impact or make it feel less overwhelming.”

"Prepare yourself emotionally"

Ms O’Malley said that preparing yourself emotionally in advance of the holiday is beneficial.

“Prepare yourself emotionally by confiding in a trusted friend, a partner, a sibling or even a counsellor before family gatherings,” she said.

“You don't have to be in touch with them every hour of every day but knowing that you have someone to turn to for support that can really help you feel more grounded.”

Ms O’Malley also said that talking about politics or serious world issues is not the best thing to do over Christmas dinner.

Woman tired of wrapping Christmas presents in home. Images: Alamy