On this week’s Ask the Expert, lecturer in psychology and childhood education Dr Mary O’Kane discussed parenting over the Christmas holidays. 

One parent asked Dr O’Kane whether they should introduce New Year’s resolutions to their 10-year-old. 

“My 10-year-old has heard about New Year's resolutions - is it a good way to introduce the idea of goal setting or is it too early?” they asked The Anton Savage Show. 

Dr O’Kane said she never did New Year’s resolutions with her children when they were young, but it is a good idea if done right. 

“The only thing about New Year's resolutions is the way sometimes it can be a little bit negative,” she said.  

“In the New Year, we’re already thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, should I try to lose weight’ and depriving ourselves.” 

She said New Year’s resolutions should have a positive focus. 

“Let’s have family resolutions so you do something fun,” she suggested. “Most of us wish we had more time with our kids.” 

She suggested resolutions such as trying a new recipe every week or doing a joint hobby. 

Selection boxes

Another parent told the show their children received too many selection boxes this year. 

“While we let them at it for a few days after the 25th, now they're looking for other selection boxes on a daily basis,” they said. 

“How do we explain it’s a treat to have once or twice a week?” 

Dr O’Kane said a lot of families will relate to this one as they come out of the Christmas season. 

“You don’t want to say chocolate is bad, but let’s have a balance,” she said. 

“Maybe have a bit of chocolate after the family walk or a walk to the beach. 

“Also, maybe next year a bit earlier, say to relations would they mind not bringing so many selection boxes.” 

Parenting an anxious child

Finally, one parent said they weren’t sure if they wanted to send their child back to school as they suffer a lot of school anxiety. 

Dr O’Kane said COVID-19 and school closures over lockdown have increased anxiety among many children. 

“If a child is stressed out, they can't learn,” she said. “They need to be calm, they need to feel comfortable, they need to feel safe. 

“It might be helpful for the parents to get a feel for what's happening inside the son's brain.” 

She suggested the parents to a teacher in the school who can help them understand their child, and be a “safe space”. 

Listen back here: