On this week’s Parenting segment, one parent isn’t sure how to explain to their children why their uncle doesn’t have a girlfriend. 

“My brother is gay and is very close with my two daughters,” they told Moncrieff. 

“Recently, they have started asking why he doesn’t have a wife, I’ve tried to explain to them that not every man has a wife, and not every woman has a husband. 

“They don’t seem to get it... They have more questions than answers.” 

They said the children might be more confused because their uncle had a girlfriend when they were younger, before he came out as gay. 

“My brother is a huge part of their life, and I want them to be as comfortable with his situations as they would be with anyone else,” the parent said. 

Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said the easiest way to explain that the children’s uncle is gay is to simply say it. 

“Let’s call him uncle James – uncle James dates man and he has boyfriends because he's gay,” she said. “There you go. 

“Because he did have girlfriends at one stage, you can say, ‘Yeah he did, and now he realises he prefers men’. 

“Say it directly because children are capable of understanding things way better than we give them credit for.” 

Direct parenting

Joanna said adults tend to get a bit “convoluted” when it comes to some social issues, while children are much more open and direct. 

“Depending on their ages – if we’re talking nine or 10ish – if you can't say this in 10 words or less change how you're saying it,” she said. 

“And then I think you’d want to [say], ‘Boys can marry boys or people get to love whoever they love, and that's a beautiful thing’.” 

Joanna said publisher Usborne are famous for its diverse set of books explaining different family dynamics and identities. 

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