Sleepovers are seen by many as an essential childhood experience – but what do you do if your child doesn’t want to go?
A mother told Parenting that her nine-year-old daughter is heading back to school in the next few weeks and the invitations to sleepovers are “gathering steam”.
“She is very anxious about it as she hasn’t been on one before,” she told Moncrieff.
“She keeps asking us questions about what will happen if she can’t get to sleep or if she can’t find the bathroom during the night because it’s dark.
“How do we prepare her for all of this and help her embrace the experience rather than dread it?”
Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune admitted she is not a “massive advocate” for sleepovers, particularly for someone so young.
“This is in no way a judgement because I think if they work for people and you’re happy with them and you’ve got a reciprocal system with likeminded parents or group of parents, then absolutely go for it if works for your kids,” she said.
“But it does not work for lots of kids and nine is still very young.
“It sounds like this is a bit of a thing in the class group, [but] it is not compulsory.”
Joanna said it is important that children learn to trust their instincts – and learn to say no.
“Her concerns are valid,” she said. “What if you’re tired and scared and want to come home but it’s 3am and you’d have to wake up the other parent?”
Sleepover stress
Joanna suggested if the parents are adamant about their daughter going on a sleepover, they test the waters first.
“Try hosting one to observe how she handles it before she goes on one,” she said.
“Be the host rather than the person going.”
The child psychotherapist acknowledged there are supposed benefits to sleepovers, such as increased social interaction outside of school.
“I would counter-argue that you can achieve that without sleepovers,” she said.
“The con is you’re putting kids in a new environment without their familiar bits and bobs and comforts.
“I’d be saying find daytime alternatives to sleepovers to keep the peer interaction up.
“Even if they come in their pyjamas, watch a movie, eat pizza – and go home at 9pm.”
Newstalk Breakfast host Shane Coleman previously argued that sleepovers put “unnecessary pressure” on kids.
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