On this week’s Parenting segment, one young girl simply refuses to get her photo taken, making a mother worried about her wedding day. 

“We have our wedding coming up, and as you know, a big part of any wedding day is the pictures,” she told Moncrieff. 

“We want to get some family photos booked for after the service, but the issue we face is that our youngest daughter doesn’t like getting her photo taken, to the point where she will cry if we try and make her.” 

She said at previous family events, she has made do with photos of a crying child – but for her wedding day, she wants at least one nice photo of her family. 

“I’ve spoken with the photographer, and he has promised that he will try a number of techniques to get her engaged that he has done previously,” she said. 

“She is four, and there is very little reasoning with her when it comes to photos being taken. 

“I’d love just one good photo.” 

Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune broke one of her golden rules and said the mother might need to “incentivise” the daughter. 

“Weddings are long days for kids,” she said. “[Tell her] there’s going to be some photos and you really want everyone in them and then she gets whatever. 

“When I say incentivise, you get to play, you get to do something, you get to watch a movie, you get to have this lovely, small, affordable stuffed animal. 

“Meet her in the place where she doesn't like it and you negotiate.” 

Realistic photo expectations

Joanna said expectations should be kept extremely realistic, however. 

“I’m jumping on what you said that you’d love just one good photo,” she said. 

“I really want you to stick with that expectation and not get a good one and go ‘Oh we’re on a roll, let’s get 10 more’.” 

The child psychotherapist said outside of incentives, the bride-to-be should also create the best environment possible to get a good photo. 

“Family photos for weddings might be better taken before the ceremony,” she said. 

“It might be better taken at home in a comfortable place for her, that you get the good photos done at a good time before she’s tired, bored, ratty.” 

Joanna suggested letting her hold a comfort toy, or at the very least make sure she is as “rested, fed, hydrated” as possible. 

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