On this week's 'Parenting' segment on the Moncrieff show, one listener sought advice about their daughter who is anxious about starting her new school. 

Joanna Fortune, psychotherapist specialising in Child & Adult Psychotherapy, joined Moncrieff to answer this and other listeners' questions.

The question:

"My daughter is 12 starting a new school next week. We moved at the start of the summer due to my husband's work. We are in a completely new county.

"The principal was very kind to us and allowed us to visit the school to get her bearings a bit ahead of time.

"However, as the starting day looms, my daughter is getting so anxious about it.

"I have younger children. They are five and seven and not as concerned about all that's involved with starting school and making friends. She has started to focus on this like her hair and is looking right for next week.

"She now hates that she wears glasses because she looks like a nerd. I know she's worried about fitting in.

"I told her how everyone is starting in a new school in first year and will not know their way around. They won't know the teachers and all the students will be new so she won't be seen as the newbie at all. Because everyone is new to everything.

"I don't even know if that was the right thing to say.

"Are there things I should be doing on the countdown and starting to help them?"

Joanna's advice:

"It's challenging and it's difficult but it is normal. Her worry is context specific.

"You've made a significant move geographically. It's new county. Everything is new.

"She's also starting a new school and it's secondary school. So there's multiple moves there. Her worry makes sense.

"When something is context specific, what we hope and generally do see for most young people, is that it's a transient worry. So once she settles adjust makes a friend, two friends, a few friends settles in, the worry goes because the context has shifted.

"Worry is not context specific. And it's there more often than it's not and we often don't even know sometimes we're just worried about being worried.

"I'm not saying don't worry at all. I'm saying it is still worry and worry is a deeply unpleasant feeling, but hold the space for her to adjust and find her feet with this idea.

"When I say hold the space, I give it four to six weeks. She might only need one or two weeks by the way.

"Right now she's in a state of anticipatory arousal."

"I mean, anyone who's ever had a bruise, you know you shouldn't touch it, but you keep touching it to make sure it still hurts. You love to be right.

"When you're like that, you're like an emotional meerkat, just scanning the environment for science that you are right to feel the way you are.

"So what I thought you said about 'look, everybody's new, this is all new experiences for everyone', it's quite right. But you've said it now. You don't need to keep saying it.

"Just hold that space for her to feel exactly how she is feeling and approach it with acceptance and empathy.

"Now find out what the school community offers that might be of interest. You know, maybe there is a basketball or hockey or football or hurling, whatever is going on in the school.

"Maybe it's debating or drama or some kind of clubs or societies that she could get involved in to point out there's something exciting here.

"Use these remaining holiday days for fun. Get her laughing, get her moving, get her out of the house."

Main image shows a girl going to school. Picture by: EyeEm/Alamy