On this week’s ‘Parenting’ segment on Moncrieff, one listener asks how they should address their daughter’s smelly feet.  

One parent told Moncrieff and child-adult psychotherapist Joanna Fortune that their daughter is a “fabulous young woman, but she’s held back by one thing: her feet and the stink”. 

“We've all noticed a difference in her scent – her B.O. is fine, it’s just her feet. She takes off her shoes in her room upstairs and the smell creeps its way downstairs to the sitting room.” 

The listener said they have taken their daughter to a specialist and are waiting for the results of what is causing the scent. 

The listener wants to know how to help their daughter, who is “very conscious” of the smell. 

"She is not the smell"

“She never does sleepovers for fear people will judge her,” they said.  

Joanna said they did the right thing by taking her to a specialist, and the parents should focus on the emotional effects on the daughter for now.  

“You can’t will her into being joyful,” she said.  

She said the important thing is to separate their daughter from the scent: “You can emphasise that she is not smelly, she is not this smell.” 

“She’s a wonderful person with many attributes and has an undiagnosed issue with her feet... talk about her feet only as a problem that can be solved,” she said. 

"Specific praise"

Joanna said to not minimise this challenge, though: “It’s clearly upsetting her. You've all noticed it If you tell her ‘it’s no big deal’, that’s a lie and she’ll spot that.” 

“Just really empathise with her,” she said. “Just sit with her and say, ‘I know you're upset; I know it’s bothering you; I can see you don’t want to go o sleepovers, and this is affecting your social life – but you’re not alone.” 

“Just bear witness to her struggle,” she said. 

Joanna said to give the daughter “specific praise” to remind her she is not defined by her feet.  

“Focus on something going really well for her,” she said. 

“Not throwing a parade for it - but just saying ‘isn’t this great, you're putting it so much work and your effort is really paying of’.”