The growth of technology has exposed our children to more and more harmful content – including porn.

Her mother told Parenting that the 13-year-old girl was shown porn by a boy she plays sports with. 

“She only had her birthday last month and I’d describe her as quite innocent in many ways, so I feel as though she was really shocked by what she saw,” she told Moncrieff. 

“I told her I understand how shocking it must have been and I'm here if she wants to talk about anything she saw in the video. 

“Is there anything else I should be doing - should I contact the boy’s parents about this? 

“My daughter has pleaded with me not to but if I decide to go to the parents who do I go about this?” 

Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said there are two parts to the problem: first, the parent should tell the boy’s parents. 

Exposure to porn

“I can totally understand the daughter’s apprehension,” she said. “But this is one of those examples where you have to say to your teenager that some things are too big for parents to know. 

“The parents need to know so they can safeguard him, they can make sure they know the consequences of what he’s viewing. 

“If that was my son, I would definitely want you to tell me – from a safeguarding point of view, you have to tell them.” 

Joanna said it’s great the parent “left the door open” for the daughter to discuss the material she saw – but it might not be enough. 

“I think it puts the onus on her to tell you she’s having a hard time,” she said. 

“She could be having a hard time processing but not even processing it to a level she knows what to ask you. 

“You may need to go back to her and initiate a conversation.” 

Stressed woman in pyjamas holding her phone. Image: Tero Vesalainen / Alamy Stock Photo

Joanna said the parent should tell the daughter that porn “isn’t real” and often not reflective of healthy sexual relationships. 

She said giving the 13-year-old this information now and being communicative will “empower her” in the future. 

“She can be definite and confident in asserting her boundaries around that,” she said. 

Joanna said more parents need to have conversations with their children about porn – especially when every child has a digital device in their hand.