On this week's 'Parenting' segment on the Moncrieff show, one listener sought advice on what to do after his daughter was described as being 'distressed' in class by her teacher.
Joanna Fortune, a psychotherapist specialising in child and adult psychotherapy, offered some guidance.
Listener question
My 5-year-old loves school and skips in and out each day. I was floored recently when the teacher told me she was concerned about my child, in that she was 'distressed' in class and finds it difficult to process things.
The teacher also said that my child would put up her hand and tell her things out of context. She said she wants to carry out an assessment of my child but hasn't really explained what this means.
The teacher is young and inexperienced and I feel some anxiety now with the teacher and how she perceives my child. I do not see this behaviour in her at all.
I think it's a personality conflict between them and I'm terrified about this proposed assessment. What can I do to help my child if she is feeling under pressure in school?
Joanna Fortune's advice
"I would say row way back on this and ask some questions. First of all, as the parent your consent is needed before any assessment, what is being assessed, who is assessing, are they qualified to do that assessment, and what kind of report or outcome will be generated and where will that information be stored. These are all questions you have a right to ask. The teacher says she is distressed in class, I want some examples of that, because I know what it might mean to me but it might mean something different to someone else.
"Our children have had to readjust from a prolonged time out of school so some emotional wobbles and uncertainty and dysregulation is to be anticipated, especially for five-year-olds, they're probably Junior Infants at that stage. The other thing that jumped out at me was, 'My child puts up her hand and says things out of context', so does every five-year-old. Their little brains are carrying so much and absorbing so much, they're only half-listening to the question being asked anyway because they're thinking of something else.
File photo. Credit: Arne Dedert/dpa"So in and of itself, that's not enough to warrant an assessment of any kind and in and of itself the distress is enough for me to be thinking, what's distressing her, how does that look in the class and what happens before and immediately afterwards and how does she recover from that. I think you've got questions here, you're the parent in charge, you had no concerns from what I'm hearing about your child until this was said to you.
"Speak to the teacher and/or the principal if appropriate, but don't go to the principal in a way that you're telling on the teacher because I think you're just going to create an unnecessary layer of tension. Go to the teacher first and if you're not satisfied with the clarification, then flag to the principal, what is this about. As the parent, no one can assess your child without your consent."
