Parents can clash on how to raise a child, and one set of parents currently disagree on introducing their teen son to alcohol.
A mother told Parenting on Moncrieff her son is about to turn 16 and her husband wants to mark the occasion with alcohol.
“He feels that it’s the right time to develop a responsible approach to alcohol consumption,” she said.
“I am teetotal, and I worry that this is actually going to encourage him to drink.
“It is now a source of conflict in the home and the two of them against me. How do we best approach the introduction - or not - of alcohol?”
Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said getting the parents “on the same page” is essential, especially when it comes to alcohol.
“One of you is saying it’s going to manage risk, the other view saying it's going to encourage risks – and you’re both kind of right,” she said.
“The research varies widely on this, but generally there isn't adequate evidence that says introducing children at home to alcohol with parents deters them from binge drinking.
“It’s one of those beliefs saying, ‘Oh they give kids wine in France from a young age, and they don’t binge drink’ - not true.
“A lot of these beliefs come in based on misinformation or just something that's been accepted as a fact when it just isn't.”
Serving alcohol to a teen
It is legal to serve a teenager under 18 alcohol, once they are in a private home and have the consent of their parents.
Joanna, however, the parents should do more research on the effects of drinking alcohol from a young age.
“Their brain is still developing,” she said. “It can cause problems.
“This kind of parallel belief that allowing them to drink alcohol with their parents is a form of harm reduction does not influence [the teenager].
“How our kids behave around us parents is not the same as they behave around their peers.
“Because they can drink in moderation with mom or dad does not mean when they're with their peers they're going to drink in moderation.”
Joanna also pointed out that the husband specifically wants to introduce their son to wine, possibly because he thinks it’s safer.
She noted that no form of alcohol is better than others or leads to less harm if it’s not drunk responsibly.
Visit drinkaware.ie for more information.
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