On this week's 'Parenting' segment on the Moncrieff show, one listener sought advice about their son who says he might not want to go to college.
Owen Connolly, owner of Connolly Counselling Centre in Stillorgan, joined Moncrieff to answer this and other listeners' questions.
The question:
"My son is 18. He finished in June. He applied for colleges through the CEO but he told us recently he doesn't want to go to college."
"Now, when asked what he wants to do, he says he doesn't know. He says he needs a break. I'm worried if he breaks the study cycle, then he won't return to it."
"Since finishing the exams, he has done very little - sleeping all day, gaming all night with his friends."
"I haven't put any pressure on him as he deserves the break given he just did the Leaving Cert. But having known he wasn't planning on going to college I would have made him get a job."
"Maybe he will change his mind or have a friend start college. I'm hoping once he's offered a place of course, he'll decide to go. But what if he doesn't?"
"He's our eldest and I'm worried about the example he is now setting for his younger sibling who is going into his Junior Cert in September."
Owen's advice:
"You're dealing with an 18 year old and he's after coming out of two years of COVID and he's after getting a break which by all accounts, he really did take advantage of that by staying in bed all day and playing games with his mates all night."
"That has a huge impact on decision making for the moment. He's an 18 year old so he's only making decisions for the moment. They're not long-term decisions."
"He has applied for for courses. The whole idea is that is that the information that comes back to the family needs you guys to sit down with him and and have a chat with him about the courses."
"Don't be getting at him for his decision right now."
"At this moment in time, he's had a break from everything."
"Don't be given out to yourself for him not getting a job or having him work."
"None of that's going to work. Your son is your son. He's done the work. He's got his Leaving Cert.He's applied for the positions that he might consider."
"Let the stuff come in. When it does come in, this is the time you sit down with him."
"You talk of his options. And you can say: Well, college might not be an option for you. What about an apprenticeship? You might like to be a plumber or an electrician or something like that?"
"You're engaging with him with the knowledge that he's been a good lad for the last 18 years, going to school and finishing his Leaving Cert. That's what you should be supporting, rather than at the moment thinking that maybe he doesn't want to go to college."
