On this week’s ‘Parenting’ segment, one parent doesn’t know how to answer all their son’s ‘why’ questions. 

“My son has recently learned the word ‘why’ which is a huge milestone and we’re all delighted,” they told Moncrieff. 

“However, it has now resulted in every statement being followed by the word ‘why’. 

They said it was “cute” when their three-year-old asked why you put milk in cereal, but it’s escalating quickly, especially when the child needs discipline. 

“Recently he was acting up when we were out for lunch, and when I told him to stop or tried to reason with him, I got a ‘why’ response back,” the parent said. 

“He’s only three, but at I really need to nip this in the bud for the sake of everyone in the house.” 

'It's lovely that he's curious'

Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said the fact that sums up the entire problem is “he’s three”. 

“He's a curious eager-to-learn toddler,” she said. “Everything is new to him. 

“It's actually lovely that he’s curious – it shows that he’s open, he’s creative, he’s hungry for information.” 

Asking ‘why’ is also important for learning discipline. 

“Saying ‘because I said so’ doesn’t teach them what they did wrong,” Joanna said. 

“If I'm three and I did something wrong and I wasn’t even aware I did something wrong and you discipline me, if I say ‘why’ and you say ‘because’, I'm none the wiser to what’s going on and I'm definitely going to do it again.” 

Curious child playing at home. Image: Jan Mika / Alamy Stock Photo

Parents often think all the ‘whys’ from children are “demands for answers” - but “I don’t know” is a valid response. 

“This is about increasing your own patience and tolerance and stepping back from it,” Joanna said. 

“We need to get playful with this - you might want to say, ‘Great question, I wonder what you think the answer is’. 

“Say ‘I don’t know, let’s make up answers and see who comes up with the best answer’.” 

Joanna also recommended several resources that try their best to answer children’s ‘why’ questions. 

“There is a podcast called But Why, it’s a podcast for curious kids,” she said. 

“Very young children submit questions, and they get professionals to answer them.” 

She also recommended The First Big Book of Why by Sally Symes and Stephanie Drimmer and National Geographic’s Little Kids’ First Big Book of Why. 

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