How do you find the balance between encouraging your child to gain independence from a part-time job and reminding them to focus on school?

A mother told Parenting on Moncrieff her son just finished his fifth year of secondary school – and his grades were "a lot lower than expected".

“My hunch is that this is because he prioritised his part-time job over studies,” she told Moncrieff. 

“Don't get me wrong, I can completely see the benefits of teenagers learning the importance of earning their own money. 

“But I also don't want my son to achieve this at the cost of his desired college course.” 

She said her son often takes shifts on weekdays - “when he should be studying” - and even when she offered to pay him back the money he would lose by working less, he refused. 

“I fear he doesn't have the foresight to see what this part-time job may cost him in the long run.” 

Child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said the mother should first contact the school to understand the poor grades. 

“All of that said, I do think the correlation with the part-time job that is sounding quite like a full-time job is largely a part of that,” she said. 

Joanna said “putting your foot down” and dictating what a 17-year-old should do won’t work – but an honest conversation will. 

“I would suggest sitting with him or going out for food together, getting out of the house to have this conversation,” she said. 

“Tell him you have noticed a significant drop in his end-of-year report, but be curious as to how he feels about it.” 

Part-time job, full-time student

She can tell her son she is proud of his drive – but she’s worried he might be losing his drive for school. 

She should encourage her son to reduce his work hours to weekends only when he returns to school for his Leaving Cert. 

“Frame it as, ‘Look, this is your last year in school and we don't want you working so hard that you deny yourself all the opportunities that your last year in school could offer you’,” she said. 

Joanna also questioned whether there was anything the son was specifically saving towards to motivate him to work more shifts. 

“I think he's enjoying the working world,” he said. “He's enjoying having a job and all the independence."

She said it’s “impressive” the son has continued to balance work and school – but the parents should advise him that the sixth year is one of the most important years for his education. 

“It is the last time you're going to be having this conversation with them about not working, not doing too much,” she said. 

According to CSO in 2023, roughly 28% of 15 to 19-year-olds have a job in Ireland. 

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