Public tantrums are “developmentally appropriate” in children of a certain age, according to a leading child and educational psychologist.

On The Pat Kenny Show today, Dr Elaine McCarthy said allowing children to express their emotions can help to deal with them more effectively later in life.

Anger typically peaks in the late toddler to early childhood years, which Dr McCarthy said is one of the most important times in a child’s life.

“That’s when it’s peak time for supermarket tantrums,” she said.

“All of us are born with the full gannet of emotions but we’re not born with the ability to regulate those just yet.

“Children learn how to regulate their emotions in the context of their relationships.

“Overtime through repeated validation, support and conversation - children will learn to regulate their anger.”

Communicate

Dr McCarthy said anger in a child may mean they are trying to communicate something to you.

“Anger is certainly trying to tell us something and children don’t always have the vocabulary to express what’s going on in their bodies,” she said.

“Often the reaction at their fingertips is this big explosive anger.

“Sometimes as parents and caregivers, we can have missed subtle cues on the build-up to these reactions so it’s about thinking about what’s underneath this behaviour.”

'Worst nightmare'

While supermarket tantrums “are every parent’s worst nightmare,” Dr McCarthy said it is a normal thing for young children to do.

“Those types of tantrums are developmentally appropriate, while they are difficult to manage,” she said.

“What we see over time is that these incidents reduce and reduce once boundaries are held for the child.

“That’s why a lot of the advice around managing our children’s anger would be to do with how do we regulate ourselves [as parents] in that moment.”

Phone use

Dr McCarthy also criticised unrestricted phone use among young children.

“As parents, we have to remember our role is around teaching and education and that we’re the ones who put in boundaries,” she said.

“We need to think about what six-year-olds need a mobile phone for.

“While it’s something they might like to have – I would advise, if it’s not a necessity, to not allow such young children to have access.”

It comes as a study released today by CyberSafeKids found that 24% of six-year-olds in Ireland have their own smartphone.

The study also found that 45% of 10-year-olds are allowed to use smartphones in their bedroom.

Main image: A child arguing with her mother. Image: Ian Allenden / Alamy Stock Photo