A student who faced homophobic abuse on a Dublin bus last week has told Lunchtime Live there is nothing rare about being targeted for your sexuality in the city.
Dean O’Reilly told Andrea he was abused and intimidated for being gay on a bus into town last Wednesday.
The experience left him with a “really powerless feeling” and he said the worst part of it was that he found himself wondering what he had done to deserve it – rather than blaming those responsible.
He said a group of people at the back of the bus started shouting over to him as soon as he sat down, chanting that he was gay and asking whether he had his “gay card” on him.
A couple nights ago I was harassed repeatedly on the bus
Some lad sat beside me while his friends recorded & laughed from behind - he kept touching me, putting his arm around me & telling me to kiss him
His friends cackled from the back asking me had I my "gay card" on me
— Dean (He/Him) ✨ (@Deaneoreilly) March 20, 2022
He decided to try and ignore them, hoping things would blow over – but before long, one of them decided to come up and sit down beside him.
“Again, I was thinking, if I don’t respond, maybe he’ll just get bored and leave,” he said. “That’s not what happened.”
“He kept trying to put his arm around me and trying to touch my hair and I could hear his friends behind me laughing and they were recording what was going on as well.
“They were egging him on trying to get him to do more things to bother me. He kept telling me to kiss him and his friends were yelling from the back of the bus, asking did I have my gay card on me today and all these different things.”
Dean said he tried to get up and leave several times, but the man blocked him off, telling him: “Where are you going? Sit back down”. Eventually he got passed the man and decided to get off the bus six stops early.
A couple nights ago I was harassed repeatedly on the bus
Some lad sat beside me while his friends recorded & laughed from behind - he kept touching me, putting his arm around me & telling me to kiss him
His friends cackled from the back asking me had I my "gay card" on me
— Dean (He/Him) ✨ (@Deaneoreilly) March 20, 2022
“It was a real powerless feeling and, in many ways, it was also quite embarrassing because there is this whole mix of feelings,” he said.
“Could I have stood up for myself in a better way or what was it … but look all I did was get on the bus. I hate that I think this way but there was nothing about me that day that particularly stood out.
“There could have been another day where I could have been wearing something else or behaving a different way or whatever where, not that I would justify it happening, but I guess I would have expected this to happen.
“But yeah, I just got on a bus and I guess they were bored and trying to entertain themselves with me.”
I don't really have many Big Thoughts on it
Though, it does make me think a lot about women (especially LGBTQ+ women and WoC) who experience this sort of harassment regularly
Homophobes & harassers are gross. Their actions are never your fault. I think we all can agree on that
— Dean (He/Him) ✨ (@Deaneoreilly) March 20, 2022
Asked whether he has had similar experiences before, Dean said: “Thankfully, this incident was one of the more aggressive, severe cases”.
“It’s not uncommon for me to be walking down the street and maybe someone will stare at me different, or I might get called a fag or something every so often,” he said. “Rather than saying it’s common, I would say it’s not rare.
“You know the feeling as a gay person when someone hones-in on you or they target you because they know you’re gay or they notice something about you that's different.
“All of us - gay men, gay women, trans women, trans men, bi-people – we’ve all had that experience growing up where we’ve felt the air in a room shift because someone has noticed that we’re different.
“It’s not really a rare occurrence and it definitely happens a lot more to the trans community in Ireland, I know that for a fact. It is usually a lot more physically aggressive for them than what my experience was.”
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