As most people’s new year’s resolutions come into full effect on the first Monday of January – is vowing to make more time for friends something we could add to that list?

Irish Examiner’s lifestyle editor and columnist Esther McCarthy has decided her top resolution is to make time to meet her friends, she told Newstalk Breakfast.

“I'm watching my young fellas and talking to them about the importance of friendship and saying if you want good friends, you have to be a good friend yourself and all that,” she said.

“I’m like - when's the last time I actually kind of made time for my friends?

“I guess just as women, we kind of leave it go a bit, our own friendships, and they are so important, I'm kind of realising it more now.

“When you've something happen in your life or something tough goes on, there's nothing like a friend that can really help you.”

Make it happen

Women are definitely better than men at meeting up with friends Ms McCarthy said, but they have to drive it to make sure the meet ups happen.

“I have this group of school moms that I met randomly by mistake, you know, trying desperately to get through the baby years of the kids and there's usually one or two in the group that really drive this and go, ‘come on, let's do it, if we don't plan, it won't happen’,” she said.

“This group of girls are amazing at doing that and they kind of pull me along.”

Having an excuse, like an activity, to ensure a meet up happens is an effective way to keep in contact with your friends, Ms McCarthy said.

“Whatever it is, whatever brought you together in the first place - if you can focus on that and maintain that… because every study tells you like it's not the gym that will keep you going for longer, it's those friendships, it's those relationships, it's the connection that we need and we strive for.”

Planning ahead

Planning a party for her son kicked off this resolution for Ms McCarthy.

“My young fella had a party in the house and we were organising that and I just kind of got this flash of like ‘When did I stop doing this for myself?’,” she said.

“I was looking at the calendar and it was all the kids’ stuff… and I was like, ‘there's nothing in there for me'.

“It's just trying to make the effort just to go ‘I'm planning ahead’… because the evenings are so busy with three of them doing different sports at different times…

“I am happy that they have such gorgeous friends but I'm spending so much time maintaining their relationships, I'm kind of letting my own go by the wayside.”

Ms McCarthy said that 2025 is when she is going to be a “bit more selfish”.

Friends singing karaoke during party at home. Image: Alamy

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