Research indicates that up to 50% of marriages in the younger generation are sexless.
That’s according to clinical psychologist Tara Logan Buckley, who spoke to Pat Kenny after Robbie Williams revealed that he and his wife Ayda “barely bother with sex.”
Dr Logan Buckley said these types of relationships are known as sexless marriages.
“That means that couples don’t have sex within a period of six months to one year or else less than ten times a year,” she said.
“Research indicates that it’s roughly up to 20% of marriages that are sexless.
“That’s dramatically increasing in the younger generation – we’re seeing that go up to sometimes 50%.”
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‘Reasons for decline’
Dr Logan Buckley said, “hook-up culture” has meant that people in relationships think “the grass is always greener.”
“Before, you had to make a relationship last; you went to the dance, and you met people out in bars,” she said.
“Covid had a massive impact where you meet everybody online.
“It’s quite easy to match with people; you’ve got Tinder, you’ve got Bumble, you’ve got Hinge.”
Dr Logan Buckley said financial instability, stress and the increase in social media also play a part in the decline of sexual relationships.
“Also, sometimes there’s an inability with the social communication skills, so it's hard for people to initiate romantic connections … because they don’t know how.”
‘Catholic guilt’
Dr Logan Buckley said Irish people still struggle to be open about their sex lives.
“A lot of the time people feel like they should be having sex for the sake of it,” she said.
“We don’t talk about topics that are taboo … we’ve not been allowed openly discuss sex or eroticism or anything like that.
“I think there is still the residual effect of [Catholic guilt] at the moment in Ireland.
“There’s an increase in couples using sexual therapists, but I definitely think, in Ireland, that’s something that still impacts how we view sex and how we talk about sex.”
'Sexual reunification '
The psychologist said most of these breakdowns can be “boiled down to communication.”
She said having “a really honest conversation about what your sexual needs and your sexual type” are is the best way to fix the problem.
“I think a lot of people think they have to be together or that sexual functioning decreasing is normal,” she said.
“When in fact, it’s having the conversation that ‘it’s not normal for us not have sex ‘and ‘why aren’t we having sex?’
“Couples really need to actively work on having date nights together, where it’s just time for them – that doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex, but it might lead to intimacy.
“There’s another thing that we call maintenance sex … it’s that sex doesn’t have to be spontaneous all the time.
“If you plan an evening once a week where you are going to be intimate and sexual with one another, that can increase your sexual desire over time.”
